Monday, 13 June 2016

EU Referendum

None of this is true : Nihilism's net worth is a Nobel peace prize
Conceded points taken on who to trust - by Joe Friday

1 Just the facts Ma'am...who is being the more responsible or irresponsible?
What's happened? Where did the factual content go? In fact where'd Labour go?
2 Britain and Remain = ? If Remain wins they persuaded people with the positives of staying promoting progress and reform in the EU. Cameron can be trusted on what he says. Business's thrive inside European regulations. The Euro & Euro army will never happen. No-one trusted the Tory Brexit campaign camp as it has all the dodgy right wing conservatives in it. And they are toxic.
Brain or Bremain ? (They don't seem to use this terminology)
3 Panic : If you're not in, you won't have a say so; so the saying goes. 
If we vote out we can apply to be in again at a later date anyway...so why create uncertainty at a time of a global financial crisis.
4 The Firth of Forth. Ireland - building bridges not demolishing them. 
All 47 countries on the European council will eventually all join up and then exit again and
again (this goes on for at least 150 years cos there's always a new generation who get more pessimistic as they get older...and none the miser)
5 Trump Towers v Dyson air blades...blown dry
Big business opt in small businesses opt out (includes fishermen) Thankfully the UK has pulled it's weight in support of fishermen since we have a big, and I mean big voice in protecting our voice in Europe. It's worth a Tennor.
6 Pithy Sovereignty over ruled by the US anyway in the EU
TTIP is null and void after Brexit..or is it?! Who knows? Were not sure cos Obama said we are at the back of the queue for trade. Brill. I don't want a General Motors car. I want to invest in McDonald's real estate instead !!
7 If it's a Brexit win...they had argued the EU is not to be trusted and they persuaded voters Britain would gain more control leaving. Rather than the Conservatives can't be trusted and the EU is out of control and there's no way to reform it the way Britain would like. 
Greece will leave the eurozone soon after a brexit and France under Le Pen will have a referendum to vote ...at least we can blame someone else instead of ourselves for the break up of the Union. (And we all know the Conservatives hate unions by the way) But we'll still be in the single market & follow EU rules trading on the immigration/job numbers. A bit like Norway then. (Where it's freezing, why bother to move there anyway?)
8 Well stuffed. What 'appened when the whole of Canary Wharf moved to Reigate? 
Turkey is only allowed into Europe if America parachutes in 60,000 US soldiers to stop UK Politicians spending £7 billion on re-decorating Parliament. (if Politicians stay on the premises). Only £3 billions if they leave Parliament...and/or the EU. Geographically and historically this is incorrect but you know, that's half the trouble.
9 The Visit (It's scary. A man who likes to gamble, ramble & amble on. Arriving 24th June) What the hell, he has a stunning wife? Lucky bastard. 
Trump allows Mexico to move to Europe so that we can have Mexican food stores up North. It's always Chilli there. Plus Hadrian's wall needs rebuilding.
10 Euros = £10. And red diesel Farmers will now pay road tax.
Everyone in the world gets freedom of movement...luckily everyone moves to Australia. (And remember Points mean prizes)
11 If Brexit biscuits win....Richard Branson will find us all asleep as sheep wearing the same jumper
Scotland will want to stay in the euro zone and will want to opt out of the UK again. We will then have no oil. Think about it. Unfortunately Haggis will get banned under EU regulations. If England Remains, within a year Fish and Chips will get banned.
12 pound an hour to count Britain's Brillion's of tattoo's. Most men can now literally read women like a book. Obviously this can work from the female point of view - but women have been able to read men like a book for centuries.
£350millions or £120millions a week goes into joining the eurozone? (Not £36.50 like a  magazine subscription or to join Labour for £3) Or whichever economic guru we are supposed to believe. Why don't we just get rid of the NHS and save £120billion a year!? In ten years we'd either all be dead from poor health (which assumes we already have a bad diet) or a nation of alcoholics...(Vodka & jagerbombs are endemic) but at least we saved 1.2 trillion and helped to pay off the 1.5 trillion debt?! Or instead...all wages of footballers and TV European coverage rights goes to help pay for BHS. (And one yacht - that is one pension pot for Philip Green kept afloat!) I've got £1 saved so far. Arcadia here we come.
13 Keep Calm & KBO! 
That's basically what Russia and NATO keep doing.
14 Bang the Bang or Ban Dogs ? £55billion a year defence budget is scrapped to pay for half the NHS doctors and nurses who come from overseas.. it's also a token gesture allowing another five years of austerity cuts.
Dogs are only allowed to bark four times a year - hurray! At Christmas New Year and some firework festivities in November. We won't hear them cos of the fireworks...this has nothing to do with Europe by the way. Some people are just Barking mad.
15 Point 14. (1491 to be exact) A 600 year tale of a man who had many wives and liked chopping off heads. What would he do? Thankfully we are now divorced from the history of Henry VIII's beard
It's another reason why Wars won't work here. If it's too noisy for Dogs it gets banned. I'm not sure how this would work in Korea? Anyway all Dogs should become vegetarian and consumers will save on farming cattle who are fed to fed up fat Labradors that are subsidised by French farmers..I think.
16 Farage? 
How come an un-elected and soon to be former MEP tells everyone Brussels is an un-elected Chamber of Commerce? It does quite well in Strasbourg though. And you get to see more of Europe from a hotel room. Politicians always look to get the sympathy vote whilst they are on the payroll of lobbyists. But you know ideas don't come cheap. Lets scrap the sovereignty of the House of Lords and Parliament in the party whips lobby.
17 If we Remain flights to Europe will triple, Heathrow builds a seventh runway and Leonardo DiCaprio will stop 5,000 daily flights in the USA over environmental concerns
Nationalism will be banned. This means all European Countries football teams will be banned. There will only be one player from each country allowed to play...ok so there's enough for two teams and substitutes too. All adds to a smaller cost to UEFA. They only need one stadium to play in. Plus it saves on coach & flight costs, makes economic sense. (Both teams are managed by Germany and France though)
18 votes by 18 year olds keeps a £45 billion drinks industry afloat..who'd risk it?
Germany has never told Greece what to do and has never been very good at organising a European Super state. (Where there are no homeless people)
19 banned types of Bananas : And not wonky carrots lovefoodhatewaste.com
Britain has never liked Europe that's why we never signed the Rome treaty...but we joined the single market, the European council, signed the Maastricht treaty and the Lisbon treaty?! And other stuff we were never explained at school. (Some of it well before the internet...and I still don't know what it all means as I can't be bothered to read about it)
20 Welsh language leaflets costing £200 million. I think Wales now needs to leave.
We all learnt Latvian at school instead of French, Spanish and German. The teachers never missed a future opportunity and taught us to buy into Greek holiday timeshares. Thankfully each class clubbed together and bought into Portuguese property because we soon learnt British mortgages were a con based on profit only, shackled liked slaves for the next 40 years and we'd never be able to afford £27,000 worth of ever increasing college loans. Unfortunately I ditched all three languages, including History, went to Harvard and moved to Estonia. I really hope no-one calls me stupid or ignorant. (And I still don't know where Lisbon is)
21 European Status or...Jean Claude Juncker's notion of a Euro army?
For starters I always eat Spanish Olives, I drive a BMW car, eat croissants, drink Italian coffee, enjoy French & Australian wine and love Ksenia Solo. I also live in a mansion owned by a Chinese Billionaire and support Thai owned King Power football team. All without learning the lingo.
22 Quid Pro Quo ? Conservative Govt = leaving the EU...it's what they've been dreaming of
This vote has nothing to do with the fact the Conservatives have always wanted a European Referendum ever since the Europe question pulled their party apart 25 years ago. At least that's not happening right now; now that were pulling ourselves apart having an exciting quality decent debate destabilising Europe.
23 Who said politics was boring? 
One that doesn't push through the 'Snoopers Charter' and the first of many fracking go aheads...whilst were all distracted by Boris Johnson speaking fluent French.
24 I don't want to vote in a Europhile who would become the next PM. That's right..it's Tony Blair
I made up my mind after reading 15 pages of Wetherspoons news special on the EU Ref. Ten pages were devoted to Leave so I just read the first 7.5 pages. Which halved the problem of staying.
25 England v Russia...in the end a one all draw. It was fireworks & all was well behaved in the stadium & on the streets of Marseille. Sums it all up.
Before Russia hosts the World Cup, the EU will soften the sanction blow after owning up to creating the annexation of Crimea. Democracy in action. They had a referendum. 95% positively Russian. Which is good news for the Tartars. Does this mean Crimea will now join Europe with Russia too and apply for EU grants so that Russian and Ukranian soldiers get a decent meal a day?
26 I'm now off to SPIEF  to the Neva embankments : Nah-zdroh-vee-eh !
And as for trying to ban cadmium and lead white for artists oils....the less said the better

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