1 Life is fundamental to our planet...that's why it's a living thing. Add an 'ism and we have a BIG problem
2 Love is the answer? What was the question?
3 An arbitrary truth is something that makes lots of people believe in it. Some people believe a blade of grass has all the answers and that's the only truth I need. That's why I always mow the lawn.
4 What happened to the Television repair man? My television set keeps needing to be updated. Why do I need to keep going to the shops to repair it in this way? How smart is that?
5 Domination is not an ideal way of dealing with each other or nations. It leads to dominoes - which is a really easy game to play. The world also plays Top Trumps...and cheats. Which card were you dealt with?
6 The only orders I make are on ebay and I never take orders from anyone...ever. I am such an awful ebayer.
7 Are we floating in space or just falling? I don't know I just bounce up and down
8 I blame cattle for global warming. Do you know how much of a methane crisis there is? So said a man eating a burger and beans behind the wheel of a car
9 Religious dogma is like watching C3PO on amphetamines which is quite funny. Don't you just love dogmatic truth said R2D2..
10 Money is a concept that doesn't exist and now it's gone digital. So we make fuels to fuel a profit from electronic logarithms? Which costs us and the planet dear. I never knew maths could be this much fun...maybe not for Greece though
11 Tear gas makes me cry in demonstrations because it's sad they always have to end and mustard gas is good for beef just depends which way the winds blowing...less than likely toward a Lincoln Red on my plate. (I'm a vegetarian)
12 Who knew that information would become portable now I can upload my whole life on an apple watch...but I don't have an iphone
13 The rights of man forgot to include the rights of woman. What a Paine
14 Double Deuterium Magnetic Stellarators are the future of our seas. Now that's heavy...water.
15 Uncontrollable laughter is the best gas to give people..not for free though. Cheap laugh anyone?
16 Health and Safety has gone mad?! Why not extend it to war surely that's not good for your health? That way it would be deemed too unsafe to fight especially during the day. At night everyone wears high vis jackets
17 Everyone agrees Pluto is not a planet. Of course it isn't. Pluto is a dog
18 Share in a common goal. Trouble is most of the common goals are offside and they don't count..mostly because everyone doesn't understand the offside rule.
19 How to live on this planet is easy if you have plans to make it a home but I'm no builder
20 Use microwaves to transfer the power source from solar panels in space. That way we can re-charge our electric cars on the go! There's more space in space and over 500 orbiting solar satellites would do the job it'll replace all the nuclear reactors but it'll add to more space junk
21 Equality arrives only when you respect equality. Unfortunately money and technology couldn't give a damn..mostly because men are in charge. Why do you think Cheerleaders are low paid!?
22 The pursuit of happiness isn't a journey it's a state of mind. And I can never make my mind up.
23 Life is like an open book? It isn't now..it's all over the internet and it's going to take a lifetime to read it and our lifetimes to put it all on there. (And your kids to delete your iCloud accounts)
24 The answer to the worlds problems was at my fingertips and then the computer crashed. Which was lucky for me. I used the off switch, saved electricity and I had an early night.
25 I made a mint. Now there's a hole in it. That's Polo's for you
Osborne's 2million tax dodge taken with a pinch of salt...not likely
The Midas Touch
Why should we fear the faltering hand,
the falling hair, the deafening ear ?
at all the near at hand we stare,
Hooking it to our hearts with eyes
That dare not face the far away,
Nor learn the alphabet of stars,
Nor read their writing on night skies.
The midas touch is each man's trick,
Turning bread to gold-dust in his mouth,
If he, stubborn, will not eat
The unrefined, the star-ground truth
Midas the king, no hamstrung man,
Right royal in the sight of gods,
Could play the fool, want all of gold,
And then retrace his donkey step
And wash all off in river's pool,
And since then Pactolus is stained
With greed and glimmer of gold rule,
God's darling boy, he had his out
A loop hole now denied to man,
And so we drug our minds to truth
And ostrich the divine right plan.
The Midas touch is each man's myth,
The lure that snares him in the end,
That makes him fear his tottering step,
The fore-thought of the failing hand