carbs and sugar taken in small doses W1A goes forth, on what BBC4? All we need now is another Blackadder..don't get me going
Heading down to Subway checking out the sandwich fillings while simultaneously texting and listening on an ipod shuffle..to Radio 4 speak
Simon Harwood: Sex education is valued less than the cure don't you think?
Ian Fletcher: Er..onions? Well..okay, can I have cheese?
David Wilkes: Who makes money out of procreation? Ian Fletcher: Tomatoes as well.. yes. Um..Midwives? Siobhan Sharpe: I got sooo confused after the Pill Ian Fletcher: For headaches? Just water for now thanks Lucy Freeman: Have we got enough of those? Can I have the salad. Yes we are eating in
Simon Harwood: Well someone in the statistical office is sure paving their way in education Ian Fletcher: Enough salad? Yes..looks great. Thankyou Lucy Freeman: I mean do we have enough Midwives? There's nearly a million births a year
Simon Harwood: All thanks to science..lovely crowd highly driven people like China..can I have the tuna. And is it properly sourced...? Try looking at the tin Tracey Pritchard: Well aren't they the experts Ian Fletcher: Problem? Simon Harwood: No. Just a bit of fine tuning...ah super I see your sign there yes okay I'll have that then Tracey Pritchard: Is that fresh meat?
David Wilkes: No Siobhan Sharpe: Pfiser Ian Fletcher: No? Simon Harwood: That's viagra for you Siobhan Sharpe: Cool. Coke. Nice and cold Simon Harwood: It's all thanks to teenagers...wonderful individuals free yet completely oblivious to life's shortcomings. Drat now half my tuna just fell out David Wilkes: And goings..Subway Melt looks delicious or Spicey Italian? mmm
Siobhan Sharpe: I love the young youth..I am hip to the tip. Lets hula Ian Fletcher: Not in Subway
David Wilkes: Don't they split hairs now..instead of splitting up?
Tracey Pritchard: They just end it by text..franchise out? Do you think there's a better word?
Simon Harwood: No manners whatsover. Oh, I knew I should have gone for the Italian Tracey Pritchard: Rude lot. What did you order? The table by the window is free
Ian Fletcher: Veggie Patty. Polite society was different than today Siobhan Sharpe: Patty man, patty man the little patty man get on yer bike I've sent it via text Ian Fletcher: I'll check later..hang on I already know what you've said ?!
Tracey Pritchard: Doctors just dish out medicine..
Ian Fletcher: In a petri dish? David Wilkes: All they learnt at school was sex education..Doctors I mean
Simon Harwood: Amazing part of society the true backbone of Britain and the NHS Siobhan Sharpe: Is that how they come top in class..
Ian Fletcher: Don't ask David Wilkes: I was always at the back of class
Lucy Freeman: No wonder they're injecting only girls with HPV
Ian Fletcher: Not men? David Wilkes: Ouch ouch ouch I've got pins and needles
Siobhan Sharpe: No way men are scared of needles.. Ian Fletcher: Cramp...? David Wilkes: I'll uncross my legs. These tables aren't helping. Simon Harwood: What about the boys..? I'm a man but I've just spoken for boys first Tracey Pritchard: Same thing applies
David Wilkes: Now everyone gets like STD jealous. Spicy Italian. I would recommend again Simon Harwood: Which is systematic Lucy Freeman: I don't think they'll brag about that when they have kids David Wilkes: Well my Grandmother used to tell me lots of stories Tracey Pritchard: Tall tales they are called tall tales David Wilkes: She's half Italian Siobhan Sharpe: Oh. Don't go for meatballs they are a killer Lucy Freeman: Parents don't teach their kids anything..properly Ian Fletcher: Well lets not be the judge Simon Harwood: No and nor are they
David Wilkes: Didn't they used to do O and A levels...?
Simon Harwood: It's a recession who can blame them..the rule of GCSE's no pun there whatsoever
Siobhan Sharper: Slap that back pocket...that's what they all say, they are loaded. Lets shop Tracey Pritchard: They have stupid tattoo's on their lower backs. That's a sure sign if you ever need one. Lucy Freeman: I have a tattoo on my ankle. Does anyone want my onions? David Wilkes: I had one done like years ago in Thailand in my gap year..I got it removed Ian Fletcher: What did it say? David Wilkes: I'm not sure ..I can't really remember. It was all in those squiggly letters Tracey Pritchard: You stupid little man it probably read like a Thai takeaway Simon Harwood: Takeaway my tattoo Lucy Freeman: You could see it in the mirror Right? David Wilkes: Tricky? Ian Fletcher: Oh why? David Wilkes: I had it done on my lower back.. Siobhan Sharpe: I had one on the back of my neck Tracey Pritchard: Probably looked like a zip Ian Fletcher: People kept trying to undo you?! Simon Harwood: Out do you! Out do you..which in my book is quite easy to do Siobhan Sharpe: I had letters removed..with tippex David Wilkes: Mine was all back to front Tracey Pritchard: Am I the only woman here without a tattoo? Simon Harwood: Don't you get the Red Arrows in Wales? Ian Fletcher: Edinburgh Tattoo you mean..different country. I mean different part of the UK Tracey Pritchard: For now Ian Fletcher: And education now?
Lucy Freeman: Schools are Academy's instead of Comprehensives or Grammars. Were doing a piece on Hackney Primary Schools soon we could do a monitor role for you? Siobhan Sharpe: Upgrades link upgrades in the Matrix Link value link...Link? Simon Harwood: To opt in or opt out? That is the question Lucy Freeman: Who's pulling the plug and more importantly who's pulling the strings.. Ian Fletcher: Link the old milk rota? I mean like..who enforces these new roles?
David Wilkes: It's like Police Academy? Simon Harwood: Only without the guns and the police... Tracey Pritchard: More or less London schools now have high towers David Wilkes: Some used to be PG and 15 didn't they Simon Harwood: Isn't that stop and search? I'm thirsty again David Wilkes: They got less funnier after that but still the machine gun guy was brill Siobhan Sharpe: RAT ATAT ATAT RATATATA David Wilkes: Wow the police could record that Siobhan Sharpe: Google glass it Ian Fletcher: Possibly Simon Harwood: The all seeing eye..I'm done with my Sub. Who wants coffee? Tracey Pritchard: They'll know were watching them too David Wilkes: Like watching the Bill but this is the cleverer part, it's for real Siobhan Sharpe: Police! Camera! Action! Tracey Pritchard: Like a Big Brother role reversal? Ian Fletcher: Right. Who's having tea...? Can we order tea here? Lucy Freeman: Armed officers watching themselves on their best behaviour watching us..sugar? Siobhan Sharpe: Police! Camera! Shoot! Ian Fletcher: Only if a person is a danger to society. Two lumps..oh only in sashets? Okay Tracey Pritchard: I think you are Ian Lucy Freeman: Armed and dangerous as a rule..there's plenty of people who are a danger to society and we are not in America. Simon Harwood: Well I never..I never knew Trident cost that much. Weren't you armed and dangerous in The Monuments Men? Ian Fletcher: A little...yes Tracey Pritchard: A danger to himself more like.. Simon Harwood: The red hand gang..they should be behind bars
David Wilkes: I liked the Red hand gang Ian Fletcher: For Arts sake. Blast! Now the sugars spilt everywhere..I did it for Art David Wilkes: Can you get the book? Lucy Freeman: No you can't send books to prison. I think you dropped something Ian Fletcher: Oh..sorry. Nothing there..I misread what you were saying Simon Harwood: Mind the paper cups..they're a bit thin Lucy Freeman: It's not on the offical list. Where does this coffee come from? Siobhan Sharpe: I bet Noddy's on there Simon Harwood: World block book day. It's Colombian coffee. Fair Trade Ian Fletcher: That is one hot cup of coffee...careful it'll burn your fingers David Wilkes: Mines cold I'm still on juice Simon Harwood: Like a trail of evidence..the law always prefers concrete so I've heard Ian Fletcher: Fair trade? Isn't that a co-op brand? Simon Harwood: Cop out brand and an early retirement
Siobhan Sharpe: I'm smuggling in The Sixteenth Round by Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter Tracey Prichard: You heard the Dylan track.. Siobhan Sharpe: Okay miss conviction and Bob Dylans biography to even things up Simon Harwood: Who have you got in prison? We are all ears and it won't get passed Subway Siobhan Sharpe: My son. First when he was penny boarding and he hit a parked car David Sharpe: Oh no..the Police arrested him for that? Siobhan Sharpe: He hit a Police Car Tracey Pritchard: Well that explains alot Ian Fletcher: Cautioned? Siobhan Sharpe: Yes and this is the downer they took his DNA too..totally weird shit totally Simon Harwood: It's only saliva...in fact anyone spitting could now get easily found out David Wilkes: Who came up with that law..? Simon Harwood: Don't worry. I'm sure someone's just making it up as we go Ian Fletcher: How old is he? Siobhan Sharpe: Twenty three David Wilkes: Penny boarding at that age? That is weird Siobhan Sharpe: No way get out of here. That was a decade ago he got caught recently for tweeting against UKIP Ian Fletcher: We can count the years Siobhan. Shocking to take DNA at thirteen years old
Simon Harwood: Terrible. And I can speak for most of us here. We are on your side Siobhan Tracey Pritchard: Are we?
David Wilkes: Like do schools do Academy Awards..? Latte I lurve latte Tracey Pritchard: Here try this (out comes the hip flask) Siobhan Sharpe: Thanks. Vodka coffee cool..! Who gets the Oscar? Am I right cadets?
Lucy Freeman: Academy Schools who think they are getting more money don't Ian Fletcher: And councils lower taxes because they don't need to support state school funds??
Tracey Pritchard: Sure my council tax bill is so small now that we need to invest in updating over fifty london borough schools. Don't be so bloody naive Lucy Freeman: Councils need £400 million to update them and more classes to prepare for the huge numbers of new primary school intakes Ian Flatcher: Okay. Isn't that a basis for change? David Wilkes: What's naivity? Tracey Pritchard: I give up here
Siobhan Sharpe: Okay all ears on this one. It's like a super nativity play..but only for children under five cos after that no-one believes in santa anymore. No brainer totally.
Simon Harwood: Fiscal policies toward free schools are on the bandwagon, shame really I liked my grammar school all boys you know. Much better with segregation of the sexes don't you think?
Ian Fletcher: Women are important..of course. Goes without saying Tracey Pritchard: Education needs to inclusively support educating for women Lucy Freeman: Women can lead us out of this post industrialisation mess Siobhan Sharpe: Cool cool I agree women..are cool Ian Fletcher: Women have faith in women..that's the byword Lucy Freeman: I don't like byword..how about hello world we make up fifty percent of the population! David Wilkes: Women are a religion?
Simon Harwood: Controversial...lets just leave religion up to the Rev
Ian Fletcher: Right the Rev Simon Harwood: Funny..you were in that too. You are into job hunting aren't you? Ian Fletcer: Just dipping my toes in all spheres of theatre Simon Harwood: Like NATO
Lucy Freeman: After Academy's the Governments going for Institutions and women are paving their way forward Simon! Simon Harwood: See even Lucy is getting in the way of my train of thought and it's coming to a halt so very strange. Truthfully it's a Boys own world...with big toys along the yellow brick road
Lucy Freeman: Not in my World..you never said simple Simon Siobhan Sharpe: And Big Train is funny..I love Simon Pegg he's an on call surgeon Tracey Pritchard: Aren't the Chinese building roads in Africa? Siobhan Sharpe: Leading straight to the ore..the new land of Oz David Wilkes: Ounces of Gold...in the sun sun sun Siobhan Sharpe: Despot! Despot! Despot!
Ian Fletcher: That's spells disaster..we are not turning back the clock? Siobhan Sharpe: Deposits! Deposits! Deposits! That's what I was mesmerising Simon Harwood: Empires to the Sun..careful otherwise we'll be pinching ourselves
Siobhan Sharpe: Choo choo are you a Steam train?
Tracey Pritchard: Welsh coal is the best. We used to dug it up in our garden Siobhan Sharpe: I haven't got a garden. Simon Harwood: I have an apartment, overlooks the Thames. Very plush, lots of glass. Hell of a cleaning bill. It'll never last 300 years though. It's a short term investment.. Ian Fletcher: I've got a balcony with plastic flowers.. David Wilkes: Saving water...? Siobhan Sharpe: Oh Mr Plastic how does you're garden grow? Ian Fletcher: We are sat in Subway this is not horticultural hour Tracey Pritchard: Thomas The Tank Engine as read by Ringo..I used to watch that with my children. So friendly. Lucy Freeman: With no ironic celebrity status self referential comedy in there whatsoever? Simon Harwood: A bit like Modern Art...I always look at the Tate with a wry smile David Wilkes: Which one Tate Modern or Tate Britain? Simon Harwood: I did say Modern Art. David Wilkes: Yeah I agree. Especially Turner he can't paint for toffee Ian Fletcher: Yes..quite. Turner Prize can be a hard act to swallow. Ringo does have a friendly voice. Tracey Pritchard: Octopus Garden my son Taser loves that song Siobhan Sharpe: Taser, Taser! Taser City..it's the new buzz word of the law Simon Harwood: With a spark plug David Wilkes: I've got a room full of gnomes..I collect them. They don't give away plastic toys in Subway do they? Ian Fletcher: Yes..we've gathered that Simon Harwood: It used to be just me and Nobby Tucker pinballing the local peasants...fun times at Grammar schools
Ian Fletcher: I think you're mistaking that with marbles Lucy Freeman: Face facts we need Co-ops of Schools Siobhan Sharpe: Lets do co-op stamps..I'm designing the design speak as a flow chart
David Wilkes: Um..Co-op is going under isn't it? And they are into Class A now
Ian Fletcher: Is this leading to a new class war? Uh..no middle Class B or C ?
David Wilkes: Not sure but someone did fund a dodgy habit and spent all of their kitty
Siobhan Sharpe: Meeoow! Can I have another dose of that Brandy...
Ian Fletcher: Can we claw our way out of this bag please..does the west need Academies?
Simon Harwood: Mmm NATO for schools? Could be a winner lets hypothesise
Tracey Pritchard: Tories want an Army of children for the crisis in Crimea?
Siobhan Sharpe: That really would be an endgame..
David Wilkes: You mean Enders Game
Ian Fletcher: Any ideas on names? Oh I've had the tea bag in all this time
Simon Harwood: Academic European Institutional Order of Universal Soldiers? Ian Fletcher: Without mentioning Soldiers please..not sure if that's a go here David Wilkes: Or Army of Europes Institutions Overseeing Universal Schools? Lucy Freeman: No..Academies of European Institutions Overseas for Universal Suffrage
Siobhan Sharpe: No way! Get out of here...can we do some sort of logo(s) ?
Tracey Pritchard: That would have to go through the liberal commies and yellow canary conservatives
Simon Harwood: AEIOU'S for short..they all work. Not sure about consonants lets get Rachel Riley in
Ian Fletcher: Right ... Lucy Freeman: On second thoughts Ian Fletcher: Yes? Lucy Freeman: Change European to Equality Ian Fletcher: Okay..yes I understand Simon Harwood: Do you Ian? Tracey Pritchard: And not Eurovision..that's a joke David Wilkes: Bearded ladies..? What's the Wurst that can happen? Tracey Pritchard: Who knew? With respect.. Lucy Freeman: Did you watch it ? David Wilkes: No I was in Camden enjoying an Oasis tribute band. Slide away and give it all you've got mine my today fell in from the top Siobhan Sharpe: Cool! I dream of you and all the things you say..I wonder where you are now. Right here right now right here right now..Massive Attack David Wilkes: No it wasn't that was by Fatboy Slim Siobhan Sharpe: I knew that.. Ian Fletcher: Don't drink during lunch hour Tracey Pritchard: Who actually takes it seriously? Ian Fletcher: Do you mean the song contest? Or Europe as a vision? Tracey Pritchard: Either way still the same answer Siobhan Sharpe: Cool! Ian Fletcher: Er..right. Lets leave one vote until 2017 Simon Harwood: Phone lines are open soon on the second front Ian Fletcher: Hold on a second..which front? Simon Harwood: Ukraines...25th May Siobhan Sharpe: Cool..whoah feelin a ittle bit dipsy..tipsy light headed ooh Ian Fletcher: Er..not sure where this is going? Can someone help Siobhan please Simon Harwood: No nor does anybody else. C'mon lets get back to the Beeb Lucy Freeman: To the polls David Wilkes: I'm going to Poland on my holiday's..? Siobhan Sharpe: Coolio-mondo.. Tracey Pritchard: It's another 'Opportunity' knocks.. don't put that in instead of Overseas Ian Fletcher: Right..no Organisations? Weren't we on Schools ? How do you get out of here..? Tracey Pritchard: Pull Ian you've got to pull the door we'll Thinktank this later Ian Fletcher: Right..not push Siobhan Sharpe: Cool! Substitute the linesman and fank you for the sub..mr peabody David Wilkes: Free white napkins! I'll take a few for my next Dinner party Tracey Pritchard: Give me those. I surrender. All hail the white flags....TAXI!! Ian Fletcher: Right..TAXI! Simon Harwood: Oh look the sign on the Black cab says it's made in China? Funny that Ian Fletcher: Right..I mean no
I got to see Curious Incident last November and loved it even though I'm no good at maths..funny and poignant. Visually the production cleverly echoes Christopher's mind set & spatially the stage resembles what a teenagers room would look like if you mixed the Chemical Brothers with LCD screens for walls projecting early 80's era computer graphics. A raw sonic cube of emotion...and the book's good too!
Dad can I sing the song from Frozen again? Shhh..let it go Jess..please MARK HADDON'S ICE BEAR'S CAVE DUE TO BE PUBLISHED OCTOBER 2014
Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film.
I'm good with knowing on the 4th! Use patience..of the Force. (It's not rocket science. I can't wait to see the film!)
ESB Premiere 1980
In the Slipstream..there's no doubt only certainty there is
Ford : Listen kid, don't copy my bow tie and I'm the handsome one around here
Fisher: You know I love you don't you..How did you get out of the carbonite?
Hamill: We are going to have to do this again..see you for a re-reunion?
Ford: For sure. Lets meet in three years time, something tells me this is going to be my decade
Fisher: You'll do classics and I'll write one
Hamill: I am going to have to use the Force
Ford: Don't worry kid we'll swap anecdotes in thirty years..you know George
Hamill: Yeah I heard he's going to do prequels..
Hamill: Post prequel sequels? That's confusing..
Ford: Lets just call them films and do them one at a time and let George figure it out
Fisher: Wow..you're so dishy. If I ever get crowned a queen you can be my king. And no wookies in the bedroom okay!?!
David Wilkes: Wales or Thales? It kind of rhymes doesn't it
Ian Fletcher: I may emigrate after this New Zealand sounds a good place to be
Tracey Pritchard: Good
Ian Fletcher: Well obviously not right away the idea has to gain fruit
Siobhan Sharpe: Lets book our holidays in advance for Iraq and Afghanistan
David Wilkes: Thomas Cook it
Siobhan Sharpe: Wickers Wicked World part three..
Ian Fletcher: WWW3?
Lucy Freeman: I don't think we need that lets drink tea and discuss things
Simon Harwood: Lets not mention Armenians to the Turks
Ian Fletcher: Problems?
Tracey Pritchard: Thats a genocide cover up
David Wilkes: Mankind is such a bitch
Simon Harwood: Well remembered on 24th April
Tracey Pritchard: I told you Britain should go cold turkey..
David Wilkes: I like it best on Boxing day
Simon Harwood: Yes lets not antagonise Armenia and Azerbaijan..very much a hot spot
Ian Fletcher: A spot of bother?
David Wilkes: Some places could do with another iron curtain...
Siobhan Sharpe: Cool lets go for chain links..
Ian Fletcher: You're not seriously suggesting a dictatorship?
Siobhan Sharpe: Rock the boat , don't rock the boat baby..Putin
Tracey Pritchard: How about one for the British Police Force..?
Ian Fletcher: That would sort them out?
Simon Harwood: And never ever but don't quote me here. They now find a naked man a threat..
Ian Fletcher: Circumstances?
Tracey Pritchard: Always circumstantial Ian..on the video release
Simon Harwood: You have to wonder how policemen restrained unarmed individuals in cells before tasers don't you
Tracey Pritchard: One man against three that's the answer
Lucy Freeman: Surely common sense would dictate that once a man is naked and cold..
Siobhan Sharpe: Shut that door Brucie
Ian Fletcher: Right and let him sober up overnight..
Simon Harwood: It's a taser tease..and one for the IPCC
Ian Fletcher: Yes..through the right channels best not to turn a blind eye
David Wilkes: Keeping one eye open and the other out of focus?
Siobhan Sharpe: I think somebody should have gone to specsavers...
Simon Harwood: Do you think the police will now fear Scottish men in Kilts...?
Lucy Freeman: I think they always have
Tracey Pritchard: I taser my husband when he's naked..
Ian Fletcher: A bit over the top..
David Wilkes: Where can you get one?
Siobhan Sharpe: Or was he just repairing a fuse..? DIY Britain
Ian Fletcher: Was it a bank holiday?
Lucy Freeman: Otherwise men are just like rampaging Tigers
Tracey Pritchard: No he is like a Lion..he has a lovely mane but he yawns too often for my liking and keeps nodding off so I use the taser to get things moving along after dark...bloomin marvellous bit if kit. I'd be lost without it.
Siobhan Sharpe: ZAP MAN!
David Wilkes: What?! I never knew that...could ever happen
Tracey Pritchard: I also have a defribulator..thankfully the WI clubbed together for one and it's better than viagra
Lucy Freeman: Unbelievable.
David Wilkes: Now I know why they like dressing up in uniform..
Ian Fletcher: Okay...? Aren't we going out of focus on this one
Siobhan Sharpe: It's legal you can get them in shops now...