Friday, 30 May 2014

Exhibition week : Postcards from the edge aka Heavy seas

 in from the sea
heavy sea-sons   

of love   


Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Falmouth Exhibition week : Eulimene Love..Spreads Around

                                         I love..The Stone Roses (reign supreme)

100 love notes £2 each

Thursday, 15 May 2014

W1A : Splinter of the minds eye 4 aka chewing the fat

                                       carbs and sugar taken in small doses 

W1A goes forth, on what BBC4? All we need now is another Blackadder..don't get me going
Heading down to Subway checking out the sandwich fillings while simultaneously texting and listening on an ipod Radio 4 speak

Simon Harwood: Sex education is valued less than the cure don't you think?

Ian Fletcher: Er..onions? Well..okay, can I have cheese?

David Wilkes: Who makes money out of procreation?

Ian Fletcher: Tomatoes as well.. yes. Um..Midwives?

Siobhan Sharpe: I got sooo confused after the Pill

Ian Fletcher: For headaches? Just water for now thanks

Lucy Freeman: Have we got enough of those? Can I have the salad. Yes we are eating in

Simon Harwood: Well someone in the statistical office is sure paving their way in education 

Ian Fletcher: Enough salad? Yes..looks great. Thankyou

Lucy Freeman: I mean do we have enough Midwives? There's nearly a million births a year

Simon Harwood: All thanks to science..lovely crowd highly driven people like China..can I have the tuna. And is it properly sourced...? Try looking at the tin

Tracey Pritchard: Well aren't they the experts

Ian Fletcher: Problem?  

Simon Harwood: No. Just a bit of fine tuning...ah super I see your sign there yes okay I'll have that then

Tracey Pritchard: Is that fresh meat?

David Wilkes: No

Siobhan Sharpe: Pfiser

Ian Fletcher: No?

Simon Harwood: That's viagra for you 

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool. Coke. Nice and cold

Simon Harwood: It's all thanks to teenagers...wonderful individuals free yet completely oblivious to life's shortcomings. Drat now half my tuna just fell out

David Wilkes: And goings..Subway Melt looks delicious or Spicey Italian? mmm

Siobhan Sharpe: I love the young youth..I am hip to the tip. Lets hula

Ian Fletcher: Not in Subway

David Wilkes: Don't they split hairs now..instead of splitting up?

Tracey Pritchard: They just end it by text..franchise out? Do you think there's a better word?

Simon Harwood: No manners whatsover. Oh, I knew I should have gone for the Italian

Tracey Pritchard: Rude lot. What did you order? The table by the window is free

Ian Fletcher: Veggie Patty. Polite society was different than today

Siobhan Sharpe: Patty man, patty man the little patty man get on yer bike I've sent it via text

Ian Fletcher: I'll check later..hang on I already know what you've said ?!

Tracey Pritchard: Doctors just dish out medicine.. 

Ian Fletcher: In a petri dish?  

David Wilkes: All they learnt at school was sex education..Doctors I mean

Simon Harwood: Amazing part of society the true backbone of Britain and the NHS

Siobhan Sharpe: Is that how they come top in class.. 

Ian Fletcher: Don't ask

David Wilkes: I was always at the back of class

Lucy Freeman: No wonder they're injecting only girls with HPV

Ian Fletcher: Not men?

David Wilkes:  Ouch ouch ouch I've got pins and needles

Siobhan Sharpe: No way men are scared of needles..

Ian Fletcher: Cramp...?

David Wilkes: I'll uncross my legs. These tables aren't helping.

Simon Harwood: What about the boys..? I'm a man but I've just spoken for boys first

Tracey Pritchard: Same thing applies

David Wilkes: Now everyone gets like STD jealous. Spicy Italian. I would recommend again

Simon Harwood: Which is systematic

Lucy Freeman: I don't think they'll brag about that when they have kids

David Wilkes: Well my Grandmother used to tell me lots of stories

Tracey Pritchard: Tall tales they are called tall tales

David Wilkes: She's half Italian

Siobhan Sharpe: Oh. Don't go for meatballs they are a killer

Lucy Freeman: Parents don't teach their kids anything..properly

Ian Fletcher: Well lets not be the judge

Simon Harwood: No and nor are they

David Wilkes: Didn't they used to do O and A levels...?

Simon Harwood: It's a recession who can blame them..the rule of GCSE's no pun there whatsoever

Siobhan Sharper: Slap that back pocket...that's what they all say, they are loaded. Lets shop

Tracey Pritchard: They have stupid tattoo's on their lower backs. That's a sure sign if you 
ever need one.

Lucy Freeman: I have a tattoo on my ankle. Does anyone want my onions?

David Wilkes: I had one done like years ago in Thailand in my gap year..I got it removed

Ian Fletcher: What did it say?

David Wilkes: I'm not sure ..I can't really remember. It was all in those squiggly letters 

Tracey Pritchard: You stupid little man it probably read like a Thai takeaway

Simon Harwood: Takeaway my tattoo

Lucy Freeman: You could see it in the mirror Right?

David Wilkes: Tricky?

Ian Fletcher: Oh why?

David Wilkes: I had it done on my lower back..

Siobhan Sharpe: I had one on the back of my neck

Tracey Pritchard: Probably looked like a zip

Ian Fletcher: People kept trying to undo you?!

Simon Harwood: Out do you! Out do you..which in my book is quite easy to do

Siobhan Sharpe: I had letters removed..with tippex

David Wilkes: Mine was all back to front

Tracey Pritchard: Am I the only woman here without a tattoo?

Simon Harwood: Don't you get the Red Arrows in Wales?

Ian Fletcher: Edinburgh Tattoo you mean..different country. I mean different part of the UK 

Tracey Pritchard: For now
Ian Fletcher: And education now?  

Lucy Freeman: Schools are Academy's instead of Comprehensives or Grammars. Were doing a piece on Hackney Primary Schools soon we could do a monitor role for you?

Siobhan Sharpe: Upgrades link upgrades in the Matrix Link value link...Link? 

Simon Harwood: To opt in or opt out? That is the question

Lucy Freeman: Who's pulling the plug and more importantly who's pulling the strings..

Ian Fletcher: Link the old milk rota? I mean like..who enforces these new roles?

David Wilkes: It's like Police Academy?

Simon Harwood: Only without the guns and the police...

Tracey Pritchard: More or less London schools now have high towers

David Wilkes: Some used to be PG and 15 didn't they 

Simon Harwood: Isn't that stop and search? I'm thirsty again

David Wilkes: They got less funnier after that but still the machine gun guy was brill


David Wilkes: Wow the police could record that

Siobhan Sharpe: Google glass it

Ian Fletcher: Possibly

Simon Harwood: The all seeing eye..I'm done with my Sub. Who wants coffee?

Tracey Pritchard: They'll know were watching them too

David Wilkes: Like watching the Bill but this is the cleverer part, it's for real

Siobhan Sharpe: Police! Camera! Action!

Tracey Pritchard: Like a Big Brother role reversal? 

Ian Fletcher: Right. Who's having tea...? Can we order tea here?

Lucy Freeman: Armed officers watching themselves on their best behaviour watching us..sugar?

Siobhan Sharpe: Police! Camera! Shoot!

Ian Fletcher: Only if a person is a danger to society. Two lumps..oh only in sashets? Okay

Tracey Pritchard: I think you are Ian

Lucy Freeman: Armed and dangerous as a rule..there's plenty of people who are a danger to society and we are not in America. 

Simon Harwood: Well I never..I never knew Trident cost that much. Weren't you armed and dangerous in The Monuments Men?  

Ian Fletcher: A little...yes

Tracey Pritchard: A danger to himself more like..

Simon Harwood: The red hand gang..they should be behind bars

David Wilkes: I liked the Red hand gang

Ian Fletcher: For Arts sake. Blast! Now the sugars spilt everywhere..I did it for Art

David Wilkes: Can you get the book?

Lucy Freeman: No you can't send books to prison. I think you dropped something

Ian Fletcher: Oh..sorry. Nothing there..I misread what you were saying

Simon Harwood: Mind the paper cups..they're a bit thin

Lucy Freeman: It's not on the offical list. Where does this coffee come from?

Siobhan Sharpe: I bet Noddy's on there

Simon Harwood: World block book day. It's Colombian coffee. Fair Trade

Ian Fletcher: That is one hot cup of coffee...careful it'll burn your fingers

David Wilkes: Mines cold I'm still on juice

Simon Harwood: Like a trail of evidence..the law always prefers concrete so I've heard

Ian Fletcher: Fair trade? Isn't that a co-op brand?

Simon Harwood: Cop out brand and an early retirement

Siobhan Sharpe: I'm smuggling in The Sixteenth Round by Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter

Tracey Prichard: You heard the Dylan track..

Siobhan Sharpe: Okay miss conviction and Bob Dylans biography to even things up

Simon Harwood: Who have you got in prison? We are all ears and it won't get passed Subway

Siobhan Sharpe: My son. First when he was penny boarding and he hit a parked car

David Sharpe: Oh no..the Police arrested him for that?

Siobhan Sharpe: He hit a Police Car

Tracey Pritchard: Well that explains alot

Ian Fletcher: Cautioned?

Siobhan Sharpe: Yes and this is the downer they took his DNA too..totally weird shit totally

Simon Harwood: It's only fact anyone spitting could now get easily found out

David Wilkes: Who came up with that law..?

Simon Harwood: Don't worry. I'm sure someone's just making it up as we go   

Ian Fletcher: How old is he?

Siobhan Sharpe: Twenty three

David Wilkes: Penny boarding at that age? That is weird

Siobhan Sharpe: No way get out of here. That was a decade ago he got caught recently for tweeting against UKIP 

Ian Fletcher: We can count the years Siobhan. Shocking to take DNA at thirteen years old

Simon Harwood: Terrible. And I can speak for most of us here. We are on your side Siobhan

Tracey Pritchard: Are we? 

David Wilkes: Like do schools do Academy Awards..? Latte I lurve latte

Tracey Pritchard: Here try this  (out comes the hip flask)

Siobhan Sharpe: Thanks. Vodka coffee cool..! Who gets the Oscar? Am I right cadets? 

Lucy Freeman: Academy Schools who think they are getting more money don't 

Ian Fletcher: And councils lower taxes because they don't need to support state school funds??

Tracey Pritchard: Sure my council tax bill is so small now that we need to invest in updating over fifty london borough schools. Don't be so bloody naive

Lucy Freeman: Councils need £400 million to update them and more classes to prepare for the huge numbers of new primary school intakes  

Ian Flatcher: Okay. Isn't that a basis for change?

David Wilkes: What's naivity? 

Tracey Pritchard: I give up here

Siobhan Sharpe: Okay all ears on this one. It's like a super nativity play..but only for children under five cos after that no-one believes in santa anymore. No brainer totally.  

Simon Harwood: Fiscal policies toward free schools are on the bandwagon, shame really I liked my grammar school all boys you know. Much better with segregation of the sexes don't you think?

Ian Fletcher: Women are important..of course. Goes without saying

Tracey Pritchard: Education needs to inclusively support educating for women

Lucy Freeman: Women can lead us out of this post industrialisation mess

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool cool I agree women..are cool 

Ian Fletcher: Women have faith in women..that's the byword

Lucy Freeman: I don't like about hello world we make up fifty percent of the population!

David Wilkes: Women are a religion? 

Simon Harwood: Controversial...lets just leave religion up to the Rev
Ian Fletcher: Right the Rev

Simon Harwood: were in that too. You are into job hunting aren't you?

Ian Fletcer: Just dipping my toes in all spheres of theatre

Simon Harwood: Like NATO 

Lucy Freeman: After Academy's the Governments going for Institutions and women are paving their way forward Simon!

Simon Harwood: See even Lucy is getting in the way of my train of thought and it's coming to a halt so very strange. Truthfully it's a Boys own world...with big toys along the yellow brick road

Lucy Freeman: Not in my never said simple Simon 

Siobhan Sharpe: And Big Train is funny..I love Simon Pegg he's an on call surgeon

Tracey Pritchard: Aren't the Chinese building roads in Africa?

Siobhan Sharpe: Leading straight to the ore..the new land of Oz

David Wilkes: Ounces of the sun sun sun

Siobhan Sharpe: Despot! Despot! Despot!  

Ian Fletcher: That's spells disaster..we are not turning back the clock?

Siobhan Sharpe: Deposits! Deposits! Deposits! That's what I was mesmerising

Simon Harwood: Empires to the Sun..careful otherwise we'll be pinching ourselves

Siobhan Sharpe: Choo choo are you a Steam train?

Tracey Pritchard: Welsh coal is the best. We used to dug it up in our garden

Siobhan Sharpe: I haven't got a garden. 

Simon Harwood: I have an apartment, overlooks the Thames. Very plush, lots of glass. Hell of a cleaning bill. It'll never last 300 years though. It's a short term investment..

Ian Fletcher: I've got a balcony with plastic flowers..

David Wilkes: Saving water...?

Siobhan Sharpe: Oh Mr Plastic how does you're garden grow?

Ian Fletcher: We are sat in Subway this is not horticultural hour

Tracey Pritchard: Thomas The Tank Engine as read by Ringo..I used to watch that with my children. So friendly. 

Lucy Freeman: With no ironic celebrity status self referential comedy in there whatsoever? 

Simon Harwood: A bit like Modern Art...I always look at the Tate with a wry smile

David Wilkes: Which one Tate Modern or Tate Britain?

Simon Harwood: I did say Modern Art. 

David Wilkes: Yeah I agree. Especially Turner he can't paint for toffee

Ian Fletcher: Yes..quite. Turner Prize can be a hard act to swallow. Ringo does have a friendly voice. 

Tracey Pritchard: Octopus Garden my son Taser loves that song 

Siobhan Sharpe: Taser, Taser! Taser's the new buzz word of the law 

Simon Harwood: With a spark plug

David Wilkes: I've got a room full of gnomes..I collect them. They don't give away plastic toys in Subway do they?

Ian Fletcher: Yes..we've gathered that

Simon Harwood: It used to be just me and Nobby Tucker pinballing the local times at Grammar schools 

Ian Fletcher: I think you're mistaking that with marbles

Lucy Freeman: Face facts we need Co-ops of Schools

Siobhan Sharpe: Lets do co-op stamps..I'm designing the design speak as a flow chart

David Wilkes: Um..Co-op is going under isn't it? And they are into Class A now

Ian Fletcher:  Is this leading to a new class war? middle Class B or C ?

David Wilkes: Not sure but someone did fund a dodgy habit and spent all of their kitty

Siobhan Sharpe: Meeoow! Can I have another dose of that Brandy...

Ian Fletcher: Can we claw our way out of this bag please..does the west need Academies?

Simon Harwood: Mmm NATO for schools? Could be a winner lets hypothesise

Tracey Pritchard: Tories want an Army of children for the crisis in Crimea?

Siobhan Sharpe: That really would be an endgame..

David Wilkes: You mean Enders Game

Ian Fletcher: Any ideas on names? Oh I've had the tea bag in all this time

Simon Harwood: Academic European Institutional Order of Universal Soldiers?

Ian Fletcher: Without mentioning Soldiers please..not sure if that's a go here

David Wilkes: Or Army of Europes Institutions Overseeing Universal Schools?

Lucy Freeman: No..Academies of European Institutions Overseas for Universal Suffrage

Siobhan Sharpe: No way! Get out of here...can we do some sort of logo(s) ?

Tracey Pritchard: That would have to go through the liberal commies and yellow canary conservatives

Simon Harwood: AEIOU'S for short..they all work. Not sure about consonants lets get Rachel Riley in

Ian Fletcher: Right


Lucy Freeman: On second thoughts

Ian Fletcher: Yes?

Lucy Freeman: Change European to Equality

Ian Fletcher: Okay..yes I understand  

Simon Harwood: Do you Ian?  

Tracey Pritchard: And not Eurovision..that's a joke

David Wilkes: Bearded ladies..? What's the Wurst that can happen? 

Tracey Pritchard: Who knew? With respect..

Lucy Freeman: Did you watch it ?  

David Wilkes: No I was in Camden enjoying an Oasis tribute band. Slide away and give it all you've got mine my today fell in from the top 

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool! I dream of you and all the things you say..I wonder where you are now. Right here right now right here right now..Massive Attack

David Wilkes: No it wasn't that was by Fatboy Slim

Siobhan Sharpe: I knew that..

Ian Fletcher: Don't drink during lunch hour

Tracey Pritchard: Who actually takes it seriously? 

Ian Fletcher: Do you mean the song contest? Or Europe as a vision?

Tracey Pritchard: Either way still the same answer

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool!

Ian Fletcher: Er..right. Lets leave one vote until 2017

Simon Harwood: Phone lines are open soon on the second front

Ian Fletcher: Hold on a second..which front?

Simon Harwood: Ukraines...25th May

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool..whoah feelin a ittle bit dipsy..tipsy light headed ooh 

Ian Fletcher: Er..not sure where this is going? Can someone help Siobhan please

Simon Harwood: No nor does anybody else. C'mon lets get back to the Beeb

Lucy Freeman: To the polls

David Wilkes: I'm going to Poland on my holiday's..? 

Siobhan Sharpe: Coolio-mondo..

Tracey Pritchard: It's another 'Opportunity' knocks.. don't put that in instead of Overseas

Ian Fletcher: Organisations? Weren't we on Schools ? How do you get out of here..?

Tracey Pritchard: Pull Ian you've got to pull the door we'll Thinktank this later

Ian Fletcher: Right..not push

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool! Substitute the linesman and fank you for the peabody

David Wilkes: Free white napkins! I'll take a few for my next Dinner party

Tracey Pritchard: Give me those. I surrender. All hail the white flags....TAXI!!

Ian Fletcher: Right..TAXI!

Simon Harwood: Oh look the sign on the Black cab says it's made in China? Funny that

Ian Fletcher: Right..I mean no


Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Ice Bear Cometh part 3 : Mark Haddon's Ice Bear's Cave Picture book cover

                                                           Play away...on Broadway 

I got to see Curious Incident last November and loved it even though I'm no good at maths..funny and poignant. Visually the production cleverly echoes Christopher's mind set & spatially the stage resembles what a teenagers room would look like if you mixed the Chemical Brothers with LCD screens for walls projecting early 80's era computer graphics. 
A raw sonic cube of emotion...and the book's good too! 

                             Dad can I sing the song from Frozen again? Shhh..let it go Jess..please


Sunday, 4 May 2014

STAR WARS VII : The New Coffee Republic..cast list. May the froth be with you

Doing the the round! 

Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film.
I'm good with knowing on the 4th! Use patience..of the Force. (It's not rocket science. I can't wait to see the film!)

ESB Premiere 1980
In the Slipstream..there's no doubt only certainty there is

Ford : Listen kid, don't copy my bow tie and I'm the handsome one around here
Fisher: You know I love you don't you..How did you get out of the carbonite?
Hamill: We are going to have to do this again..see you for a re-reunion?
Ford: For sure. Lets meet in three years time, something tells me this is going to be my decade
Fisher: You'll do classics and I'll write one
Hamill: I am going to have to use the Force
Ford: Don't worry kid we'll swap anecdotes in thirty know George
Hamill: Yeah I heard he's going to do prequels..
Fisher: Sequels?
Hamill: Post prequel sequels? That's confusing..
Ford: Lets just call them films and do them one at a time and let George figure it out
Fisher:'re so dishy. If I ever get crowned a queen you can be my king. And no wookies in the bedroom okay!?!


Friday, 2 May 2014

W1A Splinter group 3 BBC three going going gone digital

W1A eat! sleep! drink! tune in! THE CASE FOR WW1? many cases so little time to adjourn


David Wilkes: Night...well that's better than attacking at dawn?

Ian Fletcher: The early bird catches the worm?

Siobhan Sharpe: Yeah for sure..duh like that's daylight robbery

Tracey Pritchard: The early bird gets shot that what that is

Simon Harwood: World War One they loved fighting during the day..apparently

Ian Fletcher: That was well fought out

Tracey Pritchard: I think you'll find they do that in Afghanistan too..crafty bleeders

Siobhan Sharpe: So what did they do with the daylight saving hour? In double you double you one?

David Wilke: Step back into Winter...?

Ian Fletcher: It started in the summer of 1914?

Siobhan Sharpe: Spring into Summer..skipping all the way

Simon Harwood: Yes and they thought it would only last days till Christmas

Ian Fletcher: .. the one hundred day offensive worked..towards the end

Tracey Pritchard: Christmas shopping is offensive. What a bind

Simon Harwood: Correct it's a slog but the battle has to be won not lost even in the January sales

David Wilkes: They were practising for 4 years..

Ian Fletcher: That's one way of looking at it

Tracey Pritchard: Such a waste

Lucy Freeman: Hadn't the Germans surrendered at the end of September 1918?

Simon Harwood: True..bit of a quagmire this one. Only we hadn't got up to 100 yet

David Wilkes: In WW1 they preferred to sleep at my great grandaddy told me and I still believed him when I was seven

Siobhan Sharpe: When did war become 24/7?

Ian Fletcher: And who pays over-time?

Simon Harwood: Charities

Ian Fletcher: Right

David Wilkes: When we got 24 hour TV?

Ian Fletcher: You can't stay up that long

Siobhan Sharpe: And I have insomnia to deal with. I am such a lamer..3am and I am on the coffee shots. No brainer

Ian Fletcher: I think there's a cure

Tracey Pritchard: You know I have had nightmares with all of your nights of intense shock and awe campaigns

Simon Harwood: twitter back then or facebook. What's more shocking? How did they manage?

Ian Fletcher: That's one for the Kitchen-er sink

Siobhan Sharpe: Shell sick on the sea shore

David Wilkes: That was Gallipoli.. the aztecs were nearly wiped out

Ian Fletcher : Anzacs?

Tracey Pritchard: I hear you can actually go on holiday there now

Siobhan Sharpe: Like Vietnam, Croatia, Germany, Serbia, Korea..but like not North obviously

Ian Fletcher: Yes. Obviously. Quite. They do have a good run for their money now..

Simon Harwood: Ironically but not superficially. It's official

David Wilkes: Nice scenery too

Tracey Pritchard: You can't beat Wales

Ian Fletcher: No?

Simon Harwood: You can...New Zealand. Sorry has to be said

Ian Fletcher : Rugby

Siobhan Sharpe: Beat that Scotland. Can we promote on underground platform posters..

Tracey Pritchard: Only to promote Thales

David Wilkes: Wales or Thales? It kind of rhymes doesn't it

Ian Fletcher: I may emigrate after this New Zealand sounds a good place to be

Tracey Pritchard: Good

Ian Fletcher: Well obviously not right away the idea has to gain fruit

Siobhan Sharpe: Lets book our holidays in advance for Iraq and Afghanistan

David Wilkes: Thomas Cook it

Siobhan Sharpe: Wickers Wicked World part three..

Ian Fletcher: WWW3?

Lucy Freeman: I don't think we need that lets drink tea and discuss things

Simon Harwood: Lets not mention Armenians to the Turks

Ian Fletcher: Problems?

Tracey Pritchard: Thats a genocide cover up

David Wilkes: Mankind is such a bitch

Simon Harwood: Well remembered on 24th April

Tracey Pritchard: I told you Britain should go cold turkey..

David Wilkes: I like it best on Boxing day

Simon Harwood: Yes lets not antagonise Armenia and Azerbaijan..very much a hot spot

Ian Fletcher: A spot of bother?

David Wilkes: Some places could do with another iron curtain...

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool lets go for chain links..

Ian Fletcher: You're not seriously suggesting a dictatorship?

Siobhan Sharpe: Rock the boat , don't rock the boat baby..Putin

Tracey Pritchard: How about one for the British Police Force..?

Ian Fletcher: That would sort them out?

Simon Harwood: And never ever but don't quote me here. They now find a naked man a threat..

Ian Fletcher: Circumstances?

Tracey Pritchard: Always circumstantial Ian..on the video release

Simon Harwood: You have to wonder how policemen restrained unarmed individuals in cells before tasers don't you

Tracey Pritchard: One man against three that's the answer

Lucy Freeman: Surely common sense would dictate that once a man is naked and cold..

Siobhan Sharpe: Shut that door Brucie

Ian Fletcher: Right and let him sober up overnight..

Simon Harwood: It's a taser tease..and one for the IPCC

Ian Fletcher: Yes..through the right channels best not to turn a blind eye

David Wilkes: Keeping one eye open and the other out of focus?

Siobhan Sharpe: I think somebody should have gone to specsavers...

Simon Harwood: Do you think the police will now fear Scottish men in Kilts...?

Lucy Freeman: I think they always have

Tracey Pritchard: I taser my husband when he's naked..

Ian Fletcher: A bit over the top..

David Wilkes: Where can you get one?

Siobhan Sharpe: Or was he just repairing a fuse..? DIY Britain

Ian Fletcher: Was it a bank holiday?

Lucy Freeman: Otherwise men are just like rampaging Tigers

Tracey Pritchard: No he is like a Lion..he has a lovely mane but he yawns too often for my liking and keeps nodding off so I use the taser to get things moving along after dark...bloomin marvellous bit if kit. I'd be lost without it.

Siobhan Sharpe: ZAP MAN!

David Wilkes: What?! I never knew that...could ever happen

Tracey Pritchard: I also have a defribulator..thankfully the WI clubbed together for one and it's better than viagra

Lucy Freeman: Unbelievable.

David Wilkes: Now I know why they like dressing up in uniform..

Ian Fletcher: Okay...? Aren't we going out of focus on this one

Siobhan Sharpe: It's legal you can get them in shops now...

Ian Fletcher: Defribulators good for the heart only..for health and safety purposes in the office please

Simon Harwood: Mmmm quite. I'm fully supportive whole heartedly and cleverly well endorsed. I hear the boys in blue like shreddies too..not the band obviously

Ian Fletcher: For breakfast..?

Tracey Pritchard: No. For getting off the hook

David Wilkes: I prefer cornflakes mostly..and a croissant

Siobhan Sharpe: Lets go for a continental breakfast

Ian Fletcher: The Continental divide?

Tracey Pritchard: Look at Cameron he wanted Turkey in Europe...

Simon Harwood: When Turkey is definitley in Asia. Once you go outside the scope of the Pope it spells trouble. In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus sancti. Amen

Ian Fletcher: Amen

David Wilkes: As in Amenia?

Ian Fletcher: Armenia..

Lucy Freeman: Armenia, Kurds and Azerbaijan

Simon Harwood: A.K.A spells trouble

Ian Fletcher: Tricky

Tracey Pritchard: Turkey is a bit of a turkey at the moment isn't it

Simon Harwood: Not to worry they don't have alot of internet anyway and on the plus side
you can still go on your holidays there too. Just mind out for the tear gas

Siobhan Sharpe: Stinger city

Ian Fletcher:  Any precautions..

Simon Harwood: Wear goggles? Simple

David Wilkes: D & G could do a line

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool!

Ian Fletcher: Right..I mean wrong