W1A : Splinter of the minds eye 4 aka chewing the fat

                                       carbs and sugar taken in small doses 

W1A goes forth, on what BBC4? All we need now is another Blackadder..don't get me going

Heading down to Subway checking out the sandwich fillings while simultaneously texting and listening on an ipod shuffle..to Radio 4 speak

Simon Harwood: Sex education is valued less than the cure don't you think?

Ian Fletcher: Er..onions? Well..okay, can I have cheese?

David Wilkes: Who makes money out of procreation?

Ian Fletcher: Tomatoes as well.. yes. Um..Midwives?

Siobhan Sharpe: I got sooo confused after the Pill

Ian Fletcher: For headaches? Just water for now thanks

Lucy Freeman: Have we got enough of those? Can I have the salad. Yes we are eating in

Simon Harwood: Well someone in the statistical office is sure paving their way in education 

Ian Fletcher: Enough salad? Yes..looks great. Thankyou

Lucy Freeman: I mean do we have enough Midwives? There's nearly a million births a year

Simon Harwood: All thanks to science..lovely crowd highly driven people like China..can I have the tuna. And is it properly sourced...? Try looking at the tin

Tracey Pritchard: Well aren't they the experts

Ian Fletcher: Problem?  

Simon Harwood: No. Just a bit of fine tuning...ah super I see your sign there yes okay I'll have that then

Tracey Pritchard: Is that fresh meat?

David Wilkes: No

Siobhan Sharpe: Pfiser

Ian Fletcher: No?

Simon Harwood: That's viagra for you 

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool. Coke. Nice and cold

Simon Harwood: It's all thanks to teenagers...wonderful individuals free yet completely oblivious to life's shortcomings. Drat now half my tuna just fell out

David Wilkes: And goings..Subway Melt looks delicious or Spicey Italian? mmm

Siobhan Sharpe: I love the young youth..I am hip to the tip. Lets hula

Ian Fletcher: Not in Subway

David Wilkes: Don't they split hairs now..instead of splitting up?

Tracey Pritchard: They just end it by text..franchise out? Do you think there's a better word?

Simon Harwood: No manners whatsover. Oh, I knew I should have gone for the Italian

Tracey Pritchard: Rude lot. What did you order? The table by the window is free

Ian Fletcher: Veggie Patty. Polite society was different than today

Siobhan Sharpe: Patty man, patty man the little patty man get on yer bike I've sent it via text

Ian Fletcher: I'll check later..hang on I already know what you've said ?!

Tracey Pritchard: Doctors just dish out medicine.. 

Ian Fletcher: In a petri dish?  

David Wilkes: All they learnt at school was sex education..Doctors I mean

Simon Harwood: Amazing part of society the true backbone of Britain and the NHS

Siobhan Sharpe: Is that how they come top in class.. 

Ian Fletcher: Don't ask

David Wilkes: I was always at the back of class

Lucy Freeman: No wonder they're injecting only girls with HPV

Ian Fletcher: Not men?

David Wilkes:  Ouch ouch ouch I've got pins and needles

Siobhan Sharpe: No way men are scared of needles..

Ian Fletcher: Cramp...?

David Wilkes: I'll uncross my legs. These tables aren't helping.

Simon Harwood: What about the boys..? I'm a man but I've just spoken for boys first

Tracey Pritchard: Same thing applies

David Wilkes: Now everyone gets like STD jealous. Spicy Italian. I would recommend again

Simon Harwood: Which is systematic

Lucy Freeman: I don't think they'll brag about that when they have kids

David Wilkes: Well my Grandmother used to tell me lots of stories

Tracey Pritchard: Tall tales they are called tall tales

David Wilkes: She's half Italian

Siobhan Sharpe: Oh. Don't go for meatballs they are a killer

Lucy Freeman: Parents don't teach their kids anything..properly

Ian Fletcher: Well lets not be the judge

Simon Harwood: No and nor are they

David Wilkes: Didn't they used to do O and A levels...?

Simon Harwood: It's a recession who can blame them..the rule of GCSE's no pun there whatsoever

Siobhan Sharper: Slap that back pocket...that's what they all say, they are loaded. Lets shop

Tracey Pritchard: They have stupid tattoo's on their lower backs. That's a sure sign if you 
ever need one.

Lucy Freeman: I have a tattoo on my ankle. Does anyone want my onions?

David Wilkes: I had one done like years ago in Thailand in my gap year..I got it removed

Ian Fletcher: What did it say?

David Wilkes: I'm not sure ..I can't really remember. It was all in those squiggly letters 

Tracey Pritchard: You stupid little man it probably read like a Thai takeaway

Simon Harwood: Takeaway my tattoo

Lucy Freeman: You could see it in the mirror Right?

David Wilkes: Tricky?

Ian Fletcher: Oh why?

David Wilkes: I had it done on my lower back..

Siobhan Sharpe: I had one on the back of my neck

Tracey Pritchard: Probably looked like a zip

Ian Fletcher: People kept trying to undo you?!

Simon Harwood: Out do you! Out do you..which in my book is quite easy to do

Siobhan Sharpe: I had letters removed..with tippex

David Wilkes: Mine was all back to front

Tracey Pritchard: Am I the only woman here without a tattoo?

Simon Harwood: Don't you get the Red Arrows in Wales?

Ian Fletcher: Edinburgh Tattoo you mean..different country. I mean different part of the UK 

Tracey Pritchard: For now
   
Ian Fletcher: And education now?  

Lucy Freeman: Schools are Academy's instead of Comprehensives or Grammars. Were doing a piece on Hackney Primary Schools soon we could do a monitor role for you?

Siobhan Sharpe: Upgrades link upgrades in the Matrix Link value link...Link? 

Simon Harwood: To opt in or opt out? That is the question

Lucy Freeman: Who's pulling the plug and more importantly who's pulling the strings..

Ian Fletcher: Link the old milk rota? I mean like..who enforces these new roles?

David Wilkes: It's like Police Academy?

Simon Harwood: Only without the guns and the police...

Tracey Pritchard: More or less London schools now have high towers

David Wilkes: Some used to be PG and 15 didn't they 

Simon Harwood: Isn't that stop and search? I'm thirsty again

David Wilkes: They got less funnier after that but still the machine gun guy was brill

Siobhan Sharpe: RAT ATAT ATAT RATATATA

David Wilkes: Wow the police could record that

Siobhan Sharpe: Google glass it

Ian Fletcher: Possibly

Simon Harwood: The all seeing eye..I'm done with my Sub. Who wants coffee?

Tracey Pritchard: They'll know were watching them too

David Wilkes: Like watching the Bill but this is the cleverer part, it's for real

Siobhan Sharpe: Police! Camera! Action!

Tracey Pritchard: Like a Big Brother role reversal? 

Ian Fletcher: Right. Who's having tea...? Can we order tea here?

Lucy Freeman: Armed officers watching themselves on their best behaviour watching us..sugar?

Siobhan Sharpe: Police! Camera! Shoot!

Ian Fletcher: Only if a person is a danger to society. Two lumps..oh only in sashets? Okay

Tracey Pritchard: I think you are Ian

Lucy Freeman: Armed and dangerous as a rule..there's plenty of people who are a danger to society and we are not in America. 

Simon Harwood: Well I never..I never knew Trident cost that much. Weren't you armed and dangerous in The Monuments Men?  

Ian Fletcher: A little...yes

Tracey Pritchard: A danger to himself more like..

Simon Harwood: The red hand gang..they should be behind bars

David Wilkes: I liked the Red hand gang

Ian Fletcher: For Arts sake. Blast! Now the sugars spilt everywhere..I did it for Art

David Wilkes: Can you get the book?

Lucy Freeman: No you can't send books to prison. I think you dropped something

Ian Fletcher: Oh..sorry. Nothing there..I misread what you were saying

Simon Harwood: Mind the paper cups..they're a bit thin

Lucy Freeman: It's not on the offical list. Where does this coffee come from?

Siobhan Sharpe: I bet Noddy's on there

Simon Harwood: World block book day. It's Colombian coffee. Fair Trade

Ian Fletcher: That is one hot cup of coffee...careful it'll burn your fingers

David Wilkes: Mines cold I'm still on juice

Simon Harwood: Like a trail of evidence..the law always prefers concrete so I've heard

Ian Fletcher: Fair trade? Isn't that a co-op brand?

Simon Harwood: Cop out brand and an early retirement

Siobhan Sharpe: I'm smuggling in The Sixteenth Round by Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter

Tracey Prichard: You heard the Dylan track..

Siobhan Sharpe: Okay miss conviction and Bob Dylans biography to even things up

Simon Harwood: Who have you got in prison? We are all ears and it won't get passed Subway

Siobhan Sharpe: My son. First when he was penny boarding and he hit a parked car

David Sharpe: Oh no..the Police arrested him for that?

Siobhan Sharpe: He hit a Police Car

Tracey Pritchard: Well that explains alot

Ian Fletcher: Cautioned?

Siobhan Sharpe: Yes and this is the downer they took his DNA too..totally weird shit totally

Simon Harwood: It's only saliva...in fact anyone spitting could now get easily found out

David Wilkes: Who came up with that law..?

Simon Harwood: Don't worry. I'm sure someone's just making it up as we go   

Ian Fletcher: How old is he?

Siobhan Sharpe: Twenty three

David Wilkes: Penny boarding at that age? That is weird

Siobhan Sharpe: No way get out of here. That was a decade ago he got caught recently for tweeting against UKIP 

Ian Fletcher: We can count the years Siobhan. Shocking to take DNA at thirteen years old

Simon Harwood: Terrible. And I can speak for most of us here. We are on your side Siobhan

Tracey Pritchard: Are we? 

David Wilkes: Like do schools do Academy Awards..? Latte I lurve latte

Tracey Pritchard: Here try this  (out comes the hip flask)

Siobhan Sharpe: Thanks. Vodka coffee cool..! Who gets the Oscar? Am I right cadets? 

Lucy Freeman: Academy Schools who think they are getting more money don't 

Ian Fletcher: And councils lower taxes because they don't need to support state school funds??

Tracey Pritchard: Sure my council tax bill is so small now that we need to invest in updating over fifty london borough schools. Don't be so bloody naive

Lucy Freeman: Councils need £400 million to update them and more classes to prepare for the huge numbers of new primary school intakes  

Ian Flatcher: Okay. Isn't that a basis for change?

David Wilkes: What's naivity? 

Tracey Pritchard: I give up here

Siobhan Sharpe: Okay all ears on this one. It's like a super nativity play..but only for children under five cos after that no-one believes in santa anymore. No brainer totally.  

Simon Harwood: Fiscal policies toward free schools are on the bandwagon, shame really I liked my grammar school all boys you know. Much better with segregation of the sexes don't you think?

Ian Fletcher: Women are important..of course. Goes without saying

Tracey Pritchard: Education needs to inclusively support educating for women

Lucy Freeman: Women can lead us out of this post industrialisation mess

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool cool I agree women..are cool 

Ian Fletcher: Women have faith in women..that's the byword

Lucy Freeman: I don't like byword..how about hello world we make up fifty percent of the population!

David Wilkes: Women are a religion? 

Simon Harwood: Controversial...lets just leave religion up to the Rev
   

Ian Fletcher: Right the Rev

Simon Harwood: Funny..you were in that too. You are into job hunting aren't you?

Ian Fletcer: Just dipping my toes in all spheres of theatre

Simon Harwood: Like NATO 

Lucy Freeman: After Academy's the Governments going for Institutions and women are paving their way forward Simon!

Simon Harwood: See even Lucy is getting in the way of my train of thought and it's coming to a halt so very strange. Truthfully it's a Boys own world...with big toys along the yellow brick road

Lucy Freeman: Not in my World..you never said simple Simon 

Siobhan Sharpe: And Big Train is funny..I love Simon Pegg he's an on call surgeon

Tracey Pritchard: Aren't the Chinese building roads in Africa?

Siobhan Sharpe: Leading straight to the ore..the new land of Oz

David Wilkes: Ounces of Gold...in the sun sun sun

Siobhan Sharpe: Despot! Despot! Despot!  

Ian Fletcher: That's spells disaster..we are not turning back the clock?

Siobhan Sharpe: Deposits! Deposits! Deposits! That's what I was mesmerising

Simon Harwood: Empires to the Sun..careful otherwise we'll be pinching ourselves

Siobhan Sharpe: Choo choo are you a Steam train?

Tracey Pritchard: Welsh coal is the best. We used to dug it up in our garden

Siobhan Sharpe: I haven't got a garden. 

Simon Harwood: I have an apartment, overlooks the Thames. Very plush, lots of glass. Hell of a cleaning bill. It'll never last 300 years though. It's a short term investment..

Ian Fletcher: I've got a balcony with plastic flowers..

David Wilkes: Saving water...?

Siobhan Sharpe: Oh Mr Plastic how does you're garden grow?

Ian Fletcher: We are sat in Subway this is not horticultural hour

Tracey Pritchard: Thomas The Tank Engine as read by Ringo..I used to watch that with my children. So friendly. 

Lucy Freeman: With no ironic celebrity status self referential comedy in there whatsoever? 

Simon Harwood: A bit like Modern Art...I always look at the Tate with a wry smile

David Wilkes: Which one Tate Modern or Tate Britain?

Simon Harwood: I did say Modern Art. 

David Wilkes: Yeah I agree. Especially Turner he can't paint for toffee

Ian Fletcher: Yes..quite. Turner Prize can be a hard act to swallow. Ringo does have a friendly voice. 

Tracey Pritchard: Octopus Garden my son Taser loves that song 

Siobhan Sharpe: Taser, Taser! Taser City..it's the new buzz word of the law 

Simon Harwood: With a spark plug

David Wilkes: I've got a room full of gnomes..I collect them. They don't give away plastic toys in Subway do they?

Ian Fletcher: Yes..we've gathered that

Simon Harwood: It used to be just me and Nobby Tucker pinballing the local peasants...fun times at Grammar schools 

Ian Fletcher: I think you're mistaking that with marbles

Lucy Freeman: Face facts we need Co-ops of Schools

Siobhan Sharpe: Lets do co-op stamps..I'm designing the design speak as a flow chart

David Wilkes: Um..Co-op is going under isn't it? And they are into Class A now

Ian Fletcher:  Is this leading to a new class war? Uh..no middle Class B or C ?

David Wilkes: Not sure but someone did fund a dodgy habit and spent all of their kitty

Siobhan Sharpe: Meeoow! Can I have another dose of that Brandy...

Ian Fletcher: Can we claw our way out of this bag please..does the west need Academies?

Simon Harwood: Mmm NATO for schools? Could be a winner lets hypothesise

Tracey Pritchard: Tories want an Army of children for the crisis in Crimea?

Siobhan Sharpe: That really would be an endgame..

David Wilkes: You mean Enders Game

Ian Fletcher: Any ideas on names? Oh I've had the tea bag in all this time

Simon Harwood: Academic European Institutional Order of Universal Soldiers?

Ian Fletcher: Without mentioning Soldiers please..not sure if that's a go here

David Wilkes: Or Army of Europes Institutions Overseeing Universal Schools?

Lucy Freeman: No..Academies of European Institutions Overseas for Universal Suffrage

Siobhan Sharpe: No way! Get out of here...can we do some sort of logo(s) ?

Tracey Pritchard: That would have to go through the liberal commies and yellow canary conservatives

Simon Harwood: AEIOU'S for short..they all work. Not sure about consonants lets get Rachel Riley in

Ian Fletcher: Right

...

Lucy Freeman: On second thoughts

Ian Fletcher: Yes?

Lucy Freeman: Change European to Equality

Ian Fletcher: Okay..yes I understand  

Simon Harwood: Do you Ian?  

Tracey Pritchard: And not Eurovision..that's a joke

David Wilkes: Bearded ladies..? What's the Wurst that can happen? 

Tracey Pritchard: Who knew? With respect..

Lucy Freeman: Did you watch it ?  

David Wilkes: No I was in Camden enjoying an Oasis tribute band. Slide away and give it all you've got mine my today fell in from the top 

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool! I dream of you and all the things you say..I wonder where you are now. Right here right now right here right now..Massive Attack

David Wilkes: No it wasn't that was by Fatboy Slim

Siobhan Sharpe: I knew that..

Ian Fletcher: Don't drink during lunch hour

Tracey Pritchard: Who actually takes it seriously? 

Ian Fletcher: Do you mean the song contest? Or Europe as a vision?

Tracey Pritchard: Either way still the same answer

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool!

Ian Fletcher: Er..right. Lets leave one vote until 2017

Simon Harwood: Phone lines are open soon on the second front

Ian Fletcher: Hold on a second..which front?

Simon Harwood: Ukraines...25th May

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool..whoah feelin a ittle bit dipsy..tipsy light headed ooh 

Ian Fletcher: Er..not sure where this is going? Can someone help Siobhan please

Simon Harwood: No nor does anybody else. C'mon lets get back to the Beeb

Lucy Freeman: To the polls

David Wilkes: I'm going to Poland on my holiday's..? 

Siobhan Sharpe: Coolio-mondo..

Tracey Pritchard: It's another 'Opportunity' knocks.. don't put that in instead of Overseas

Ian Fletcher: Right..no Organisations? Weren't we on Schools ? How do you get out of here..?

Tracey Pritchard: Pull Ian you've got to pull the door we'll Thinktank this later

Ian Fletcher: Right..not push

Siobhan Sharpe: Cool! Substitute the linesman and fank you for the sub..mr peabody

David Wilkes: Free white napkins! I'll take a few for my next Dinner party

Tracey Pritchard: Give me those. I surrender. All hail the white flags....TAXI!!

Ian Fletcher: Right..TAXI!

Simon Harwood: Oh look the sign on the Black cab says it's made in China? Funny that

Ian Fletcher: Right..I mean no