Friday, 30 December 2016

Modern Victories : building the light





breaking my light...seven minutes of glory with a pint & cig

Minor Victories great live band from Creation records; the experience was on the 13th Dec at the Academy Oxford with Rachel Goswell (Slowdive), Stuart Braithwaite (Mogwai), Justin Lockey (Editors) & James Lockey (Hand held cine club)

Thursday, 29 December 2016

Modern Victories


modern victories

Vangoffey - take your jacket off and get into it!, Rauschenberg bed, the Phoenix on Walton St, saw Gillespie step into a Taxi at Oxford Station; must be in the right place to see Primal Scream, Peace, Picasso portraits (he was very much in each portrait), The Bank of Ashcroft from Legendary O2 event, The crown Pub Woodstock recommend the Cavalier Golden Ale, Docherty Demonstrations, Tate Rauschenberg serving up art on a platter (with umbrellas & goat), Star Wars Celebration : Rogue one, Picasso, Minor Victories, St. Martin in the Fields..now Trafalgar, Turner prize, I am an imbecile Shrigley balloon, Star Wars Identities - Ralph McQuarrie, Gavin Turk Who What When Where How & Why, These people Bank of Ashcroft

Monday, 5 December 2016

The Barnbow tragedy

This is part of my response to the incident that occurred 100 years ago in a munitions factory at Barnbow Leeds. (There is also an old watch attached to the frame stopped at the time of the explosion) Previously shown at Falmouth Poly a few years ago.
People coming into the gallery/exhibition can tie a yellow ribbon onto the mannequin as part of an ongoing remembrance piece.

Mamamita



more information about the Barnbow casualties can be read here (Leeds library blog)

Friday, 25 November 2016

Jimmy Cauty's ADP Riot on tour




Housed in a 40 ft shipping container, The Aftermath Dislocation Principle (ADP) is a monumental post-riot landscape in miniature by artist Jimmy Cauty. This dystopian model village is set somewhere in Bedfordshire, where only the police and media teams remain in an otherwise deserted, wrecked and dislocated land – all in 1:87 scale and viewed through observation ports in the side of the container.
The ADP Riot Tour hits Oxford’s Broad Street from 25 – 27 November 2016 as part of the city’s Christmas Light Festival. The container, spontaneously covered with public messages of love, political views and artwork, showcases a vast diorama detailing the aftermath of a major disturbance – which Oxford last experienced in winter 1355 on St Scholastica’s Day. A dispute between two University students and a local pub landlord escalated into a three-day riot over the quality of drinks at the Swindlestock Tavern, Carfax. What is thought to be one of the country’s earliest recorded secular riots involved over 2000 people and resulted in the violent deaths of 30 townspeople and 63 students. To learn more about this medieval winter tale download the official ADP Riot Tour Phamplet.
Far from inciting another riot, the event’s organisers hope the experience will be a peaceful and thought-provoking one to bring Town and Gown together. With the only real disturbance being the constant chatter of miniature police radios, dotted all over the exhibit.
Venue:
Broad Street, Oxford, OX1 3BG
The container will be located outside the Clarendon Building entrance; opposite the Weston Library.
ADP will be illuminated during the following times: 
Friday 25 November, 5pm – 10pm
Saturday 26 November, 10am – 8pm
Sunday 27 November, 10am – 4pm
There will be a merchandise stall open during these times and limited editions are available online from L-13. All proceeds help keep the ADP container on the move! 
Admission free
Family Workshops will be held at OVADA during the festival (times TBA).

An alternate experience to Black Friday...

Ovada
L13 ART
   

Saturday, 12 November 2016

The Verve - Blue

SIMPATICO


Knock yourself out cold
look beyond tomorrow
before we get old

limping home with sorrow
music in my ears
been calling out refrain

knocking on doors
simpatico remains
left on the floor

slip slide inside your mind
wild eyes say

look to the stars in kind

this world
deserves better days

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

All the Presidents Men


Voodoo economics

Magic number people
make paper girls wait
so step up to the plate
there's no time for clowns
dressed up to the nines in your towns

4 years of a day gone by
left to you and I
never giving up on a dime
to fast track an FTA
Super 301 provision
...join the queue
the one with the boy
holding hands with the Tele addicts
too late to save our time

Shine a light for the thrill seekers
Zen masters in
Atomic cities
peering over high walls
on vintage streets

Never knowing the right river
to swim against the incoming tide
Boy you know that city isn't yours to conquer
go drive like a nomad
beyond the city limits
where life's friction is beyond fiction

Haven't we already explained our fears?
They drown in our tears
dress down in black
nothing you can do
but mourn the day
make war pay
the devil will out
colours run red
the thin blue line shout

keep alive in your teens
stay dead in your jeans
flush out the slag heaps
where the future sleeps
a new brain drain
on the Presidential train

Feeling black and blue?
you know it's up to you
folly your leaders the newspapers read
this world isn't going anywhere

without you


 .............


America's Songbird

Go out into the sunshine
Catch a summer cold
Fly through the snow
Catch a winter sold

Doctors on the run below
On a wing and a prayer
It's a new fight or flight situation

A notional will to retaliate
you can free the world
As long as my baby is safe from harm tonight


Tuesday, 1 November 2016

The new Presidential Inaugural speech


Who's turn will it be...? One we'd like to hear or one we'd like to steer clear...


Hillary Clinton President aka President Hillary Clinton
Post-election abbreviated speakeasy typescript ramble one...fast forward to know now

This day arrives upon my shoulders like no other before. It has been an immeasurable goal to stand here before you as the First elected Woman President of the United States. Having taken the oath as the Commander of Liberty & Protector of the Free World, I carry forth an ennobled weight from my predecessors and I intend to do justice as I stand on the shoulders of giants to bear witness the glory of America's greatest achievements. Yet there is more work to be done...

Through Industry, Science, Business, Technology, Healthcare and Universal Education I extoll my role as President to vow that I will uphold our cherished endeavours. The American people have witnessed ten years of historic recession, not since the Great Depression has America suffered such a dramatic downturn of economic events. One that my predecessor Barrack Obama led the way in curtailing. And I thank him for his measured thought, forthright action, limitless attention to detail, humbled manner and progressive style of authority which he emboldened to our Nation.

I understand the setbacks the working people's of this country have had to endure. No Child of want should be shunned by a lack of Education, no Woman amongst us should be shamed by a lack of Equality, no Man among you should be condemned by a lack of Prosperity, no Family between us should be distressed by a lack of Security, no Society of People(s) should lack a Free Government and no Nation should endure a lack of Human Rights. With a commitment, at grassroots level we will create firm foundations for all and future generations.

We are indeed all masters of our own destiny for every American is equal before the law. One that endures with a free press a sure requirement to an openness of free expression, not one to hide behind the wall of ignorance or bow down to the mask of prejudice but to rise above these crude misalignments of our age. We stand united, equal in manner, equal in race and together we answer those that would see us fail by walking hand in hand upon those hallowed paths of our forefathers sowing the seeds of our future. Never forgetting whence we came but moving forward with verve and a new determination to define this century.

As a Mother and Wife, the content of our character is indeed measured before our looks. Unless it's Vogue then I might consider an editorial. Women know the sacrifices made, the hard graft of ironing out the wheat from the chaff and the long hours spent washing away our dirty laundry in public. I may have sent a few private emails but at least the NSA knows more about you...and I may yet have time to cast my spell (checker) on the FBI.

More than ever there is a fundamental need of Universal Healthcare, Housing, Infrastructure, Renewed Gun legislation such as the Assault Weapon ban, a Police Force which is accountable to the People and for the People, a Country willing to support our Black youth, we will come together to curtail racial tensions, we will come together to overcome our drug, crime and inner city turmoil. We stand together to win the long-term recovery of nations devastated by war, environmental catastrophes and famine. This is the Country we can be and will become. Together we stand firm.

We will support the world's children, we will weather the storm of cyclical malnutrition. I will raise equality not only for my gender but for all. Education is the key. The burden of proof lays before you. To our sons and daughters. To these exceptional young students willing to embrace the new frontier, committed to make a stand for the rights and wills of people(s) wherever despondency is found...we shall respond resolutely.

The World is defined more globally than ever. We will continue building bridges between Nations. We will stand firm with our allies and stay secure with NATO and within Europe. The turmoil of the Middle East embroiled as it is in the tumult of human suffering, where people have endured the fear of terror for too long under regimes stifling freedoms, where the terrorist bomb inflicts carnage upon all humanity. Where suffering refugees await their return home to a peaceful land we will offer hope. For Man does not profit from injustice but will profit under free governments elected by the will of the people. And so we will continue to work with all our allies and partners. Strengthening bonds in the Arab League to forge new alliances to rectify and prevent extremism in all it's guises and forms.

Great economic downturns can be thwarted by creative investment in Green policies and investing in sound business practices. We are committed to stem the flow of Climate change. One Nations water shortage is not an isolated scenario, neither is a States. Fracking & polluted water sources? Still going strong on the back of competition with OPEC. America will continue to work alongside our partners at the UN as we did in the historic Paris Conference and within the G20 on these important environmental concerns. We will endeavour to ratify the new START Treaty and to continue the process of heralding a future Nuclear Free world.

    This great Nation of ours, this beacon of hope that has risen through our Declaration of Independence 240 years ago shall be rewarded for such a steadfast conviction at home as well as abroad. We will be measured in turn by how we respond in kind to defend the Revelation of Freedom across the globe. As we reach out, in turn, offer our hand of friendship. Our olive branch is always within reach for it is offered willingly. We take pride in these freedoms, we rejoice in a sanctity whose beacon shall forever be lit as others are rekindled anew. This majestic tree that bears such fruit of our labours will branch out beyond our borders, across continents and vast oceans...and into the heavens of space.

Our arrows will defend liberty wherever it is found, to nurture nations, for humanity to inherit, for civility to grow, for all peoples to live on this Earth with Human rights, Justice and Freedom as God intended. As a just, caring Nation, we offer goodwill and we will invest a truth that resounds and reverberates around the World.

The Clinton Foundation


Credit AP/LM Otero

Donald Trump aka Mr President or President Trump

or Post-election abbreviated speak easy typescript waffle two...from Back to the Future II

Wow! Thank you America. I am really pleased with the result. Phew. Granted, it was won by one hundred thousand votes which is exactly like the Kennedy/Nixon Election result of the 60's. I'm no Kennedy let me tell you. What did his Peace Corps ever do for us? Did he define the peacekeeping role of the UN? I don't know. I'm a Hotel owner. Do we have a budget for this peace stuff, are these volunteer peoples kept safe? Until I get guarantees no American citizen is going anywhere.

Listen, I can hold up my head high proudly looking out to a new America. On the forefront of a great change. My America is a universal one. An America for all. Yes, there are down and outs, there are Ghettos, there is gun crime, there is a World of problems and I will not shy away from these obligations to mend and heal. I come to you as a man willing to work for you, speak on behalf of you, spend on behalf of you and to cry out for you.

      What is this Age that we live in, is it the 21st Century? I'll tell ya, it's a new bloody frontier. Especially once we leave NATO. America First...get to the back of the queue world. There is no such thing as a free lunch, there are no guarantees, I offer you nothing but blood, sweat and tears. I'm no Churchill. (I'm quoting) I'm not British. I'm an American. Let me say who I am not by the way I look or by the what I say but in my actions. Those will speak the loudest. You can try and take shelter, but you can't hide from the facts. A broken America can be mended. I'm a pragmatist at heart you know. Ideals are for dreamers. I'm a realist. That's why I dream big and I'm living the American Dream. Because I'm worth every cent of my billions. And remember Philanthropy is what America does best. Yes, we used Braun's technology to take us to the Moon...we took that Brit guys technology of the internet and made money out of it. Cos we're smart.

I'm a visionary, I have a vision and I am proud to serve. I will create wealth for all, I'm gonna share it. I'm gonna dismantle the Pyramid of wealth. People built the pyramids. You heard right. I'll create a flood plain on a dried up river bed (as my analogy) it requires a bit of moisture..water. Know this I will make it Rain. Nevermind my bankruptcies? That's nothing compared to a bankrupt America.

And we will rise again. We may take note from Canada where they had boring banks with enough Capitol to defend against any toxic loans. No-ones heard them complaining. I hear it works having a Canadian running the UK's Bank supposedly. I'm not sure. Not here. No way. Also, I will close the borders to stop any liberal minded people from moving north. And remember walls mean you can't leave too, so Canada can build their own. We don't want any Canadians here. You are staying steadfast with me on this one America no matter what.

As for all that Climate change hoo-ha I'm going to listen to experts and then ignore them. Just like Europe wanting Diesel cars even though they can have more fuel efficient petrol ones or Dyson electric cars we will create Congestion charges and clog up our roads. Makes sense. I'll put that before the Senate or Congress whatever works..and you know what I'll call 'em and go there myself. None of this email stuff, now twitter I like.

I love a well-run Zoo, don't you? Now it's time to start farming animals just like we farm our forestry preserved trees. Let's farm Elephants for their Tusks! Let's not burn impounded Ivory and create a price rise in the product. I'm a businessman I see through this inadequate terminology. That goes for Rhino's too even though their horns are just made out of keratin, the stuff our nails and hair are made out of and not Ivory. It's uncool. Sometimes you've got to think, people are weird. I'll shoot a Warthog for money, Roosevelt did. Why not? Hunting isn't for free.

Okay so I'm rambling now but it's funny right? I'm no comedian but I will say this if Arizona turned from a desert to an oasis I'm going to turn plenty of desert in the Middle East into Trump Golf courses and there's always a need for brand new Hotel's right? So wherever I go around the world on my Business trips as President I will spice up my estate portfolio without hesitation. Without hesitation just to be clear. Thank you.

    There are enemies within and we will route out this virus, not by bombast but with due reasoned attention because attention to detail is everything. Any ill will towards this great nation will be swallowed hole, no medication can quell a vindictive lust of aggression. You can call my bluff. Only a pathway of prevention and an obligation to delegate with the machinations of politics is the right cause I will take. We will not be silenced, we will demand the best and raise the loudest protest to any foe.

Apathy is not in my dictionary. We will stand tall. Only in Mexico will they have to use a ladder. And I'm gonna revoke Obama's illegal alien amnesty. I can do what the hell I want. There is an old order that needs a new function. There will be no new prohibition unless you live in Iraq. And it ain't gonna happen in the new Damascus. No way. I'm going to enjoy a beer with their new leader. We'll open a Trump Bar. Happy hour? No problem.

To the Saudi's I say this we won't sell any more arms to you until a Peace deal is negotiated in Yemen. I may even invite over a Camel driver like LBJ did in Pakistan back in the 60's but the official language now is Urdu and not in english even though the vast majority speak Punjabi. So I guess I'll have an interpreter, I may be ignorant but we need Camel Drivers here in Las Vegas too you know. That's why I still smoke Cuban cigars, and that's the only reason I'm gonna thank Obama. The World Order has changed in my eyes and we are going to make the World change with us. And don't say I should have gone to Specsavers...I've had a lot of this ghostwritten you know. It'll be in my new book.

As my Father said 'Don't conquer a country, don't conquer a government. If you wish to conquer, conquer the hearts of people' As we have opened up our great American heart so we ask others to open theirs up to us. We are a neighbourly nation..thank God we only have two. I'll talk to anyone and everyone but on my terms. First, let me warn those who tolerate intolerance. We will come down hard on those against us and we will embrace those who respect our course. For all rights of man fall under the one roof of Law. As humble as I am and as true to my nearest and dearest you have not only my word but my honour. Let me tell you no-one will cross me as President or there will be hell to pay.

Trump Charity


cut n' paste the gospel truth
             

Monday, 31 October 2016

Portrait

Heads up : Portrait Head
Completed last year...when I had a few odds n' ends to rustle together. Currently on view at the Redwing Gallery Penzance



Approx 16 inches high x 6 inches depth
Materials : Vintage wooden wine box, wooden wall plug, copper nail pins, window sash stays, coffee grinder bowl, lead.

Friday, 21 October 2016

Inland Arts Festival : Prospect CMR

21st PV 6-9pm - 23rd October CMR Prospect

Alongside the Inland Festival with the 'Future of Redruth' as it's theme.


Future Yardsticks
Future Yardsticks (Graph of Growth & Happiness)
150cm x 280cm
Willow sticks painted red
Copper wire (neutral blue) with woollen text representing the link between future growth and well being...

Dagmara Przybysz
Lost Future portrait Dagmara Przybysz
30x30cm
Oil on canvas

After the tragic news this May of a young persons death at a local school.
Dagmara Przybysz was a beautiful, bright and creative 16 year old student with a very promising future ahead of her. She was passionate about fashion and photography.” said Zelma Hill Head of Pool Academy.
Dagmara, originally from Poland had been living in Redruth for eight years.
A tribute was organised soon after her passing. Family and friends attended with many of them wearing red which was Dagmara's favourite colour. 

Fracking future(s) & Mexican Tower
Fracking Futures : Communist opportunities (text)
A4 colour copy
Future Del Monte Tower (artist impression structure)
Size A4 colour copy (future menu)
mixed media 

Text I (left)

Future Red Industries, Exploitations, migration & immigration opportunities

FRACKING IS THE FUTURE FOR REDROOTH : ROOM FOR EXPANSION , LAND WILL BE TAKEN OFF YOU

Redrooth is twinned with Solnechny in Krasnoyarsk Krai (a federal subject of Russia) Solnechny is a Copper mining town in Siberia
The Krai is among the richest of Russia's regions in natural resources. Eighty percent of the country's nickel, 75% of its cobalt, 70% of its copper, 16% of its coal, and 10% of its gold are extracted here. Krasnoyarsk also produces 20% of the country's timber. More than 95% of Russian resources of platinum and platinoids are concentrated in the Krai.

Solnechny represents one of the largest copper reserve in Russia and in the world having estimated reserves of 1.92 billion tonnes of ore grading 1.17% copper

Our beloved leader gives YOU the people's of Redrooth the opportunities to live and work in exile in Siberia. Futures investment contracts have been banned. Collective socialist oligarchs have risen from the ashes to form a newly risen Red Phoenix of wealth & exploitations.

RUSSIA. The Red State helping you to become a member of the European People's Republic. 

BY ORDER & BY Communist DECREE : Includes Red China, Red Brazil & Red Corea

................................


Text II

A future alternative menu (of sorts) Available from Red River cafe, Red Rooster Cafe, Red Rock Pub & The Scarlet Inn

Starters
choughed pie : original Cornish bird baked in a pie
red cherry bite : cherry's in a saffron bun
windlass biscuits : sweet & delicious (homemade recipe)

Mains
'Let's paint the town red' burger : Hot & Spicy with lots of chilli
'Kiddleywink fries' available as a side : Small, medium or big
'Badger hole' Like Toad in the hole but with a Cornish sausage with red-eye gravy

Pudding
Blackberry Espandades : Real mexican flavour with a hint of chilli
Red Ruth Choc-o-bomb : Like Death by chocolate but packed with Cornish strawberries

Drinks : Available from local home brews or via the Copper Inn
Moonshine Mine Ale, Red River Ale, Shake Rag cider
Ruth Red Moonshine aka Moonshine of Red Ruth
R&R Rum (you get plenty of rest and recreation in every bottle)
Ruby Jack Whiskey , Black Jack Whiskey
Red River cocktails, Black Jack cocktails (secret ingredients)

Vent Tea (geothermal) : There's plenty of water down 'ere and it's hot! We've put it in a cuppa...the old way via a windlass


Red

Celebrations : Red River Day   A3 text (left)
History in the making : The Astronomers View   A3 text (right)


A CELEBRATION OF ALL THINGS RED : Red River Day REDRUTH


A Carnival atmosphere radiates from the town as folk both young & old dress in Red and herald in the summer. Local chefs cook all things Rouge and with it come the famous Red Pastes which are a unique delicacy common to this area of Cornwall. Students from the college & artists create 'the Indian Holi festival' & everyone puts on their red shoes and dances to the music of the day.
Redruth in Bloom is very much a family affair until the night draws in and the revellers eager for the local Red River Ale, Moonshine Mine Ale and Ruby Jack cocktails enliven the balmy evenings air into a joyful rowdy mix.
As a visitor to the day(s) festivities you get a real sense of the impact migration had and it's a global contribution to other communities and nations wealth. Redruthians and the Cornish celebrate the culture that they witnessed by their forefathers. The exotic stalls of foods, song and dance reveal the extent to which the travelling Cornish emigrated.
'Cousin Jacks' are the branch of local wrestlers who hold championships around the world. And they put on a fine performance. R.E.D the local rock band making headline news with their new video 'casablanca' are a hit. The open air stage is all set for tomorrow's Play '$10 dollarhouse' exported from the USA. A tale of friendship and determination to revitalise a town with a restoration project. It's this dogged determination and true grit that have helped the spiritual fortunes spread to these pioneers of the west.
Today you get the impression the new solar parks, geothermal springs, technology Industry, colleges, locally sourced and international foods (Nathan Outlaw's Mexican themed nights in Redruth on fore st come highly recommended) all garnish a recipe that sends out a positive legacy for the future. 

.........................

THE ASTRONOMERS VIEW in 2070


Cornwall's desire to dig deep has paid off over the last fifty years and now progressed into the heavens of Space.
The collaboration with the European Space Agency and the SDSS Institute in mapping of the Universe have all helped to internationalise the scope of work here in Cornwall's Heartlands.
Unique metal plaques that map the universe adorn local classrooms (each hole represents a known galaxy – thousands of these plates were made & distributed to other countries)
The mining expertise has again come to fruition as two Cornish 'space pioneers' have achieved their ambitions to 'mine' asteroids. Michael Trewith and Mowenna Bassett space scientists and engineers at the science park (Redruth University Bristol) who helped to land Europes seventh spacecraft on a comet have recently come back from a visit to the Earth Zone Centre in the USA where flights to and from the Moon have garnered interest in attempting to exploit the minerals of our closest neighbours.
'This has been our dream since we first saw the landings on Mars and to travel in Space. Tim Peake was an inspiration to me back in the early days of the 21st Century' explained Michael. They both fund a research centre devoted entirely to the exploitation of the asteroid belt.
'We want to create a positive outlook to the World situation as our natural resources here on earth have plummeted. And to expand our horizons by being the first venture (jointly run via the Space hub of the UK) to capitalise on these floating assets high in ore, zinc, gold and titanium' said Mowenna.
There will be a competition for a few lucky children to experience weightlessness at the Space centre. Just one of the ways they hope to inspire a new generation...

room view

PROSPECT Background

Redruth is (really) twinned with Real del Monte in Mexico and the Cornish introduced football and built a Cornish tower on a Mexican Church. And In the USA at Mineral Point Wisconsin 'the Badger state' where miners would dig out their temporary 'digs' from the hill sides and dig small ‘Badger holes' as they were called to find the lead. And so the Cornish gave the name to the state.
In Mineral Point USA there is a graveyard with many Cornish graves - these have all been placed to face toward Cornwall England UK . Apart from one (A clown) who lived and travelled throughout the Americas...

'Cousin Jacks' travelled extensively from Cornwall to the mountains of Latin America, the Transvaal, India and from California to Canada. Large communities gathered in some areas : the 'Copper triangle' on Australia's Yorke Peninsula became known as 'little Cornwall'; and in the 1890's it was estimated that in Grass Valley, California over 60% of the population was Cornish.
In Bendigo Victoria after the Gold rush, Cornish miners also set to work digging out quartz. They kept goin'

SDSS.org : Sloan Digital Sky Survey. There are opportunity's for the metal discs used in scanning/mapping the universe to be sent to educational establishments.
Zooniverse.org : Allows you to participate in astronomical and earth bound scientific projects
Gallaxyzoo.org




Future comedy... 
Comrades of RedRooth are invited to spy on each other and to listen out if anyone is sarcastic about any of the Leaders's of the Communist Party. Anyone found to be telling jokes of this nature will be kept in solitary confinement until further notice. 

ps If it's a good one, we might write it down & pass it on to that guy Kim Jong Un  

only a jape

Frugelumpshok cackles aka laughing with a mouthful of crisps. It's no joke..salt and vinegar flavour are the worst.

Treehouse
No sense in talking to the birds in the trees. Birds don't talk. You sing to them. I ain't got no songs and I can't sing so I played them the new Chemical brothers album and that got rid of them.

Beg your pardon
I don't want your change. I want Bitcoins

Listening post
I wrote a letter to my MP and told him about my desperate need to start smoking again and that it would be good for smoking to be allowed in schools, pubs, hospitals and airports as I think these most repressed social skills have been missing for such a long time. If Grammar schools are being brought back in I thought it only fair that we should bring back old habits that are being lost. And then we can all be blamed for being a burden on the NHS and not by those just in the top 10% who've joined BUPA

Speed of thought - Fay de aya
No doubt you think I've got my head in the clouds. Too right...I love the sky and I travel on a supersonic frisbee. Forever in Guangzhou skies.

VAT : Value Added Trump. Why? Because it's gonna cost you 20% of the vote
People like to hurl abuse usually to their TV screens. It's called Hurling. It's considered a national sport across the States. If you can stop yourself from vomiting, land on your feet and use Trump as a scratch post then you are a winning cool Cat. Why do you think he sniffs every time he's near Hilary. He's allergic. (Trump may be a sore loser but he's still got nine lives..what a J Cat)

Your bard
Guinness is the fuel of the Gods. Lager is the Devil's Ale. Whiskey is for Saints. Rum is Fun.

Farmed animals are mostly herbivores, which means they are vegetarian and I only eat fish
I also wrote to the RSPCA and told them Animals should be locked up in prison for their sadistic practices and their unholy matrimonious shortcomings. These creatures kill young animals, they disrupt my bins, I see cats killing birds, spiders eating flies, bats eating spiders and on television it's even worse. Those lions should be locked up and how the devil do we allow children to watch nature programmes?  Fish, insects, mammals, worms and mice are allowed to be used as TV fodder, in the name of entertainment!! Animals should be banned. It's a disgrace. Yours, truly annoyed.

Walk and don't forget your Oyster card
London Black Cabs verses Uber? Now they can...using face recognition apps. Match your profile to a credited face of a London Black Cab driver and begin the new merger with Uber. #Hailacab app using your hand and for a heritage driver you get someone who knows his/her trade & enjoys a tirade against the incumbent Government.

(And a driver who actually understands who they're working for)

Woeful pedigree of news reporters - Reality bites
Strange internet sensations filter through from 'gossip-chant' vlogs and published moving talkies? What does this mean?  The media Promoting Pomposity over Personality and that's just in the US Presidential Elections. What a Circus.

Food appropriation
Post Brexit. Black puddings won't be banned or Pasties...enjoy your morning Croissant while you can. Those days are numbered. Includes Marmite from Tesco's. Good I only like Jam.

Defenders or Aggressors. Join the club
When War is catchin' it's called Waritus...some sides get really annoyed when it's their turn to bomb. They get jealous and go to their UN teacher to complain.

ICC
Idiotic Syndrome In Syria aka bombing and killing indiscriminately

A&E procedure
There's no cure for the NHS...don't take pills. The NHS needs rest, a week off work, plenty of exercise and a day on the golf course. And that's not contradictory. Junior doctors can't live like battery hens, patients should never operate and yet we all enjoy a free range service. So long as there's no bed blocking.

Use your mind to tell your muscles what to do - it's called dancing
Obviously if you have muscle pain and are on too many headache tablets & codeine then you need more exercise, go to a yoga class, eat only vegetables for a month and learn to do PE like you did at school. Don't forget to drink plenty of water.

Post Brexit
Pot bellies are banned by the NHS & smokers. Doctors receptionists will never ask you what your private medical condition is and A&E depts will still give you instant medical feedback because Doctor's surgeries are closed after work.

Post Brexit
Pulled Pork is all the rage in Schools, it's available in Subway and in Hospital canteens which is cool for teenagers. Nurses who treat 'customers' at weekends in the A&E because you're inebriated isn't. You are now banned...for life from using the NHS. Unless you sober up with 2 pints of water

London calling
Blackberry's go under! No more Blackberry messenger? They are no more...which means we are less likely to have another London Riots

Gillette the best a man can git 
In the end the most cost effective way of defeating the enemy was by handing out free (safety) razors. No beards meant no war. Brill. Who knew it was that easy?!

Cafetiere Society
Internet cafes used to be all the rage, now people drink coffee in cafe's, are connected to the internet all the time and get in a rage if a) there's no wifi b) slow internet c) the latte has too little froth d) mocha's aren't available

Women's right to an iphone 7
Women in the Roman Testament world such as Deborah, Rachel, Hannah & Abigail were considered prophets of note. Included Mary who had a first wise words said to her by Jesus after his resurrection. Junia was an Apostle and Phoebe so you know women have always been equal and boy can they talk and anyone telling you otherwise would probably come from misogynist or chauvinistic types of Man or Monks translating to fit the rulers of their age. Who knew Philogyny was everywhere in religious scripture or is it just in the modern age?

'Boo!' said Trump as he stepped out from a bush
Clowns...all the rage? Scary aren't they. Boris Johnson has been one for ages.

Enjoy being this moment.
Stand up to Cancer, tooth decay, obesity, fructose, Marmite, Dracula, killer dolphins, Joe Pasquale, guns, nuclear weapons, coffee flavoured chocolate and sparkling water. And have a sense of humour - you're going to need it. Oh and by the way good luck seeking love - but not on Tinder. (It works miracles though)  

Bonds Insurance Warranty 
End to Austerity by Theresa May?! At last we'll now pay off the debt by taxing those derivative's futures by speculating whether it's a viable option to create a levy on the millions of Hedge fund transactions. There's billions every day right there.

Vote Hillary to stave off moving North  
Are Canadians ready for American migration from a Trump win? Quebec is a decent place so long as you can speak french. Vancouver's out of the question since the Foreign Buyer's Tax...head for Montreal before any price hikes.

By up Town : Frank Wu very much
More flights between China and UK? Equates to more real estate for the Chinese to buy. However I still enjoy a Chinese takeaway. It's just the Chinese enjoy a British takeaway but it's not quite the same thing.

Bound
Touch smell and feel books...desire is good. You can read them too and use your hands to turn the pages.

TB
Do you know Cattle are sacred in India...I bet they don't have Badgers


Friday, 14 October 2016

Gurnard's Head Art on sale


Skimming stones at Trebah
         
Beyond the Pail & St. Ives

  Gurnard's Head in the Sitting Room



   Dog walks

Friday, 7 October 2016

Society! Society! Society!


Society! Society! Society! What society does we want..as individuals?

'There is no such thing as Society' said Margaret Thatcher who culled the Miners (because they were not environmentally friendly), killed off manufacturing and the Belgrano then imposed a Poll Tax on individuals. Don't let that argument fool you she was played by Meryl Streep in a film, appeared in a Bond movie and her clothes were in the V&A. She was infamous once, twice..three times the Iron Lady.

'I want to create a Classless Society' said John Major. Thinking If only we could run the economy as well as he won the first Gulf War we'll leave the ERM and forget the troubles in Bosnia. Don't let that argument fool you, he liked his eggs hardboiled and was only the Chancellor of the Exchequer before becoming PM. (Sets trending now don't it)

'Britain is a compassionate Society' said Tony Blair who brokered the Good Friday agreement, had a tendency to go to War often even if it was a bit dodgy. Was kind of religious, a Europhile, had a huge ego, was a bit vain but don't let that argument fool you. He was only a barrister after all. (He may yet make a comeback to clear his name - he'll forever say he won a second term)

'Seize the moment and lets build a Global Society' said Gordon Brown who sorted out the global banking crisis for a bit at the G20 (after spending like heck as Chancellor), oversaw the UK delaying tactics in the 'five tests' before any initiative to join the Euro. Wanted to help the poor of the country until he called someone a bigot. But don't let that fool you he argued for the Scots Union in 2014 and he don't take a PM pension unlike TB.

'I aim to build an Inclusive Big Society' said David Cameron after dragging the Liberals along announcing many cuts to public services, selling off London property to Russian Oligarchs, Britain to China, making Libya a safe haven for Daesh & arrogantly heading toward a Brexit. Don't let that argument fool you he was Eton educated and also a millionaire. Modern day selfie anyone?

'Our Society should work for everyone' said Theresa May. Announcing plans for us to buy shares in ourselves so that society reaps the dividends. Profits r' us...end of austerity but not the debt to society. But don't let misuses of migrants as bargaining chips with no means tested parochial argument fool you. She has great taste in footwear so were in safe hands.

March hare triggers article 50 ready for April fools day
As Italy's banks collapse and Germany can't bail anyone out May rolls up her sleeves and floors Junker...a bit like the 'hand bags at dawn' KO with UKIP MEP's.

Friday, 30 September 2016

Rosetta last image




  • Title Rosetta's last image
  • Released 30/09/2016 1:48 pm
  • Copyright ESA/Rosetta/MPS for OSIRIS Team MPS/UPD/LAM/IAA/SSO/INTA/UPM/DASP/IDA
  • DescriptionUPDATED
    Rosetta's last image of Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, taken with the OSIRIS wide-angle camera shortly before impact, at an estimated altitude of about 20 m above the surface.
    The initially reported 51 m was based on the predicted impact time. Now that this has been confirmed, and following additional information and timeline reconstruction, the estimated distance is now thought to be around 20 metres, and analysis is ongoing
    The image scale is about 5 mm/pixel and the image measures about 2.4 m across.

Saturday, 24 September 2016

Roll Of Thunder Hear My Cry

New 40th Anniversary edition available rollofthunderbook.com
Below are subsequent versions of the same book cover I originally completed in 1995 for Puffin Modern Day Classics







Mildred D Taylor on good reads

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

23 ending seasons of summer cheer


#tv Summer endeth...
Andy Murray won Wimbledon
Serena Williams won Wimbledon
Hamilton won Silverstone
Tim Peake came down to earth inspiring a new generation & his referendum postal vote has just got in. But he was just a floating voter haha
Chris Froome won the Tour da France...again :)
Juno got to Jupiter and it tells us the storm is really big


Wales got to the semi finals in the Euro's, Gareth Bale is a new national hero
Solar plexus plane landed. I mean the Solar Impulse plane completed round the world trip
The new Tate modern building opened...paid for by those people who never bothered voting in the referendum. They were fined £10 each which helped pay for it.
Cornlia Parker Psycho Barn : http://www.metmuseum.org/exhibitions/listings/2016/cornelia-parker
Vicky Balch is a stunning survivor...and a new Victoria's Secret model.
Finding Dory?...but I can't remember who she is or what it is about
Star wars VIII has recently finished filming
Alien Covenant has recently finished filming
The Cursed Child...I saw the play by taking out a £3,000 loan. Then I found out the book was selling at half price for £10. Bargain
The Living and the Dead - spooky goings on
Rio Olympics : Super Saturday II & Sensational Sunday ! Max whitlock, Lewis Smith, Mo Farah, Justin Rose, Andy Marray, Jessica Ennis, Jason Kenny, Usain Bolt & the 400m record
Christ the Redeemer
Bradley Wiggins
Laura Trott
Simone Biles
Michael Phelps - 23 GOLDS
&
Helen Skelton (not only did she have to cover up but also all the swimmers..)


Now no news items...to lighten the load

IRN-BRU
The drugs didn't work? Included Kenyan and Russian athletes. Highlights the fact no-one has heard of energy drinks.

Liquid gravity
Who would of thought bottles of water could be so much fun?


National Treasure train spotter
Corbyn steps down this weekend with humility and is offered a fashion icon stint with Sports Direct that his fan club buys shares in. He may not have bothered to sit in an empty seat on a train...but at least Virgin trains are more popular.

Carbon free paper
Brexit means by 2020 farmers subsidies will end. Allows thousands of farms to be overrun by un-vaccinated Badgers who aren't swayed by environmental issues cos that department doesn't exist anymore.
Greenpeace energy funding in a new govt

Shipping Waves
China and Russia head out for joint ops in the S China Sea. Britain is Warship ready with boats at port cos the engines don't like warm weather. Proves we are the rulers of the waves : well, not so much of the sea variety more Airwaves. Our Pop, Rock & Indie bands are proof of that. National Anthem should be Land of Hope and Glory...

Theresa May Selling off the National Grid : 51 percent stake in Britain
Hinkley C got the go-ahead...it'll probably bust up EDF but we won't offer up a British Nuclear blueprint that is any better - one that does not involve the Chinese. (Not including possibility of S. Korea building one in Cumbria but at least their nukes don't point at us and aren't rude to our ambassador...) Still at least you can get high engineering standards from China rather than a design as yet untested. (Plus lots of steel too)

Australia & USA welcome Chinese Nuclear power on their soil. True or false?
Otherwise we'll use a giant windmill and geothermal vents (powered by hot air from the EU and the Republican President nominee)

Dishing out broken shells of the free press
Apparantly Turkey Roast is off the menu this Christmas? Now that really would cause a National coup

Thursday, 1 September 2016

Monday, 8 August 2016

Saffron Walden Gallery

Cambridge Scenes & Nostalgic Cornwall

Susan Isaac - Cambridge Scenes

Capturing the raw beauty of architecture & design, Susan Isaac brings a timeless quality with a true essence of the place to her oil paintings

Above painting, 'St John's College from Trinity Street' recently won a
Windsor & Newton award, artist quote below.

 'When I chose the viewpoint for this work, I was partly drawn to the architectural majesty of St John's College with its castellated Tudor Great Gate, contrasting with stone buildings to left and right. However, my eye was particularly caught by the all-pervading bicycles corralled in groups along the broad pavement ahead of me, with the fine spokes of the bicycle wheels echoing the crisscrossing of winter branches that lace a late afternoon sky. A lowering sun sends a shaft of Indian yellow into the centre of the painting, which, along with the line of the kerb helps to draw the eye in and along the curve of Trinity Street.'


Susan Isaac Paintings

David Axtell - Nostalgic Cornish Summers

David Axtell's oil paintings have the ability to transport one back to the long lost summers of yesteryear, capturing the innocence, magic & freedom
of Cornish holidays 


David Axtell Paintings
Copyright © 2016 The Saffron Walden Gallery, All rights reserved.