World Book Day : The Ice Bear's Cave by Mark Haddon

Twelve ways to buy...the same book

The North pole...is melting? 

one - order in a local book shop. I don't know where you happen to live if you view this but I'm sure you will have a local bookshop to order it from. If not set up your own book shop, or form a protest league informing those in the know that a bricks and mortar book shop can be a good thing. Here is an example...technically a publisher too. (Blackwell's bookshop - Oxford)

You can live in our house..my dad never turns on the central heating

two - order it online via Amazon. Not through Yellowstone or Treadstone. One is still a National Park while the other is a now debunked CIA operative secret unit thing. But I got real confused when someone mentioned Blackbriar and don't start on Silverlake. These are not warehouses full of stuff...unless you count the scene at the end of Raiders. But then wouldn't the Reds have gone for the Ark instead of some Crystal Skull?

My Dad has a man cave. He uses it to hide from mom

three - order it on itunes. Does that mean I can now give back the album by U2 or is my 2 weeks up?

there was lot of singing in Frozen wasn't there

four - order a book thru Harpercollins? That's right a book. On paper. Granted it may not last a lifetime but you know it has sense benefits ie you can touch it, feel it, bend it (like a new iphone) rip it but you can still mend that with sellotape, let your kid use it without thinking they will bust an expensive bit of kit, or get an author to sign it. I won't though cos my handwritings poor. I just type.

Do you know Paddington Bear..?

five - order it through WH Smith. This is not a Will Smith's business. It's an upmarket Woolworths but with a magazine stand. Unfortunately they make you pay for your own goods now and the queue system is awful that's why I order online. I hate standing in a straight line. I prefer standing in a circle.

I saw a programme once where a man filmed polar bears in a reinforced cage.   We don't have one of those. Do you like zoos?

six - order it through Waterstones. I like Waterstones they are like a bigger and better Ottakers but with a coffee shop. Online though they don't really advertise this book well do they. (4/10 for effort) Hey ho - walk into a store and order a copy.

Have you tried moving to Antarctica?   

seven - order it via a Kindle. I don't own a Kindle or an ipad. Or an iphone. Or a coffee maker. I'm not sure why I need to tell you but I just thought you's like to know I'm doing okay without technology thanks. Apart from the local library computer which you know got given by Bill Gates so cheers for that. Only kidding I've got a Samsung and a coffee maker - it's called a kettle and I put ground coffee in it.

You know i wish I'd sat on a plastic bag my trousers are stuck

eight - order it via a goodread? Might be hard to do at the moment but they give you a few other possibilities like I am doing here for your book buying benefit.

Do you know Katow- jo?

nine - order it through Blackwell's just in case you hadn't noticed the shop in number one

 Have you tried the trick of cutting a block of ice in half with just a thin piece of metal rope and weights ? It takes a while..

ten - order it through the Amazon USA ! I know amazing. I didn't realise Amazon was in America too I thought it was only in the UK and Brazil. In the UK it's near Cardiff.

David Blaine was trapped in ice once. Do you think he should of worn a coat?

eleven - order it through Australian Harpercollins..I love world travel. I order stuff from India and China too because I like to think I'm well travelled without having to fly.

 The Northern lights is a book too.. 

twelve - Google play..with a minecraft squiggle square thing

Further images from the book can still be found on davidaxtell.co.uk With thanks and cheers if you have bought the picture book...