John Cooper Clarke

I've been around the world nine, count 'em nine times...

None as good as the bard but I keeps tryin' nondescriptly speaking

Forget me knot

There once was a man from Limerick
Who met a man called John Merrick
They shook hands in Derry
Lost there way on a ferry
And that was his last trick as an elephant

(He died soon after and the newspaper misprinted his wife as bulimic)

Aka a bald stunt on a 70's Bond film

I wore clothes fit for a woman
so I could enjoy high heeled shoes
An exquisite thong, expensive perfume
the best blown dried hair
an artist muse descending down the stair

a zeppelin rollercoaster

i once read you can feed pigeons to dogs
when sleigh bells accumulate and collide
someone said on an underground vlog
i never thought i could jog and fly
i've learnt to joyride sucking on helium

a paper lie

there's a disaster a day
as some would say a calamity
the end of the world is nigh
don't be daft said I
you just read the daily depression 'O meter

the mystery of Mr Eaves

There you are you see
not far from the sea
up to your waist in pee
who'd of thought you'd make a mistake
dancing pissed in a portaloo at Glastonbury

Not to worry Dr John is here for all known cures. Forget the national health junior Doctors strike he's on call 7 days a week - consultations ready in hand. He won't fob you off with a wrong diagnosis, as we all know laughter is the best medicine in a crisis.

I would write a review..but I was too busy enjoying the event to take any notice of that very fact.

mikegarry.co.uk
johncooperclarke.com