Call a referendum when Cameron only had a majority Government of 12...? Nufink loike a Labour majority back in the day. It was one of the main reasons people voted in the Conservatives. Brilliant?! Call a referendum only when you've got a large majority to do so. Then we wouldn't need another darn election. DUH!
Covfefe known Trumpettes: before he is impeached.
Trump says 'SNAP election means SNAP!'
'Good call Theresa' said Junker.
'Who wrote the Conservative manifesto? I want to sack people' said Theresa
'Pish and twaddle that's wot. A splash of indivisible ink will soon wash away our manifesto and we'll be eating humble pie soon. Triple lock to stay & no to that other £100,000 left your keys under the dementia doormat as well' said Boris 'When can I be PM?!'
To be read with cynicism and with sarcasm its all nicked from Private Eye anyway
Q&A and satirical bullet points from Trump memo's and the man to bring peace to the middle east
Trump 'Most likely because Tony Blair as peace envoy failed'
Tony never got to build Golf courses in Dubai for a start like Donald Trump Jr (Jared Kushner)
Trump offers to be the aide of the Brits
Trump asks 'Who left the jokers in the pack? Opps they've been sacked. Theresa was never going to gain a presidential style leap into the ether of the populace. That was mine and Tony Blair's job. Blair left you with nowhere to run but to Austerity...and then after seven years of a Coalition and Conservative minority Govt there would lead a new grassroots campaign back to Labour with a widespread protest vote. Which is Ironic. See I pay attention to the UK's politik'
For a more even-handed negotiating style needed for Brexit after a referendum? Again this is ironic. (Jared Kushner)
Editors Note : Hahaha..seriously
Lets have another election...
'This is also known as Swings and Roundabouts' said Trump
Are we still going around in circles?
Trump asks 'Who sold guns to a known terrorist sympathiser in Orlando? I will sack the FBI head honcho for that idiotic decision. I'll sue the makers of those guns used there and in Sandy Hook. And sue the internet. I vow to drain the NRA swamp and I will halve our $600 billion dollar military might'
Not with the China in the S. Seas you won't (Jared Kushner)
The new CONSERVATIVE UNIONIST NEGOTIATING TEAM aka Socialist Liberals
Trump Tweets 'Wot no....acronym? Easy on the new Irish border posts!!'
Likes 5674. Shares? Why we have millions of those invested with Dubai & Russia (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: Theresa May is about to buy shares in the DUP for votes...with a blank cheque. At least we now we know where the £350million saved each month from leaving the EU is going. Austerity ends in N. Ireland soon.
Welcome into the fray of the new Babyboomers
Trump wonders 'Are the DUP letting all and sundry know you will have a challenge trying to sort out an ageing population? Versus a low birthrate? Wonder why the Govt policy is high immigration? Like I said I'm no abortionist, mathematician, statistician or Irish politician trying to form a pregnant, cohesive and peaceful deal...my roots are firmly Scottish and German'
I'm sure Sinn Fein are waiting for Stormont to start working again. (Jared Kushner)
Trump says 'SNAP election means SNAP!'
'Good call Theresa' said Junker.
'Who wrote the Conservative manifesto? I want to sack people' said Theresa
'Pish and twaddle that's wot. A splash of indivisible ink will soon wash away our manifesto and we'll be eating humble pie soon. Triple lock to stay & no to that other £100,000 left your keys under the dementia doormat as well' said Boris 'When can I be PM?!'
To be read with cynicism and with sarcasm its all nicked from Private Eye anyway
Q&A and satirical bullet points from Trump memo's and the man to bring peace to the middle east
Trump 'Most likely because Tony Blair as peace envoy failed'
Tony never got to build Golf courses in Dubai for a start like Donald Trump Jr (Jared Kushner)
Trump offers to be the aide of the Brits
Trump asks 'Who left the jokers in the pack? Opps they've been sacked. Theresa was never going to gain a presidential style leap into the ether of the populace. That was mine and Tony Blair's job. Blair left you with nowhere to run but to Austerity...and then after seven years of a Coalition and Conservative minority Govt there would lead a new grassroots campaign back to Labour with a widespread protest vote. Which is Ironic. See I pay attention to the UK's politik'
For a more even-handed negotiating style needed for Brexit after a referendum? Again this is ironic. (Jared Kushner)
Editors Note : Hahaha..seriously
Lets have another election...
'This is also known as Swings and Roundabouts' said Trump
Are we still going around in circles?
Trump asks 'Who sold guns to a known terrorist sympathiser in Orlando? I will sack the FBI head honcho for that idiotic decision. I'll sue the makers of those guns used there and in Sandy Hook. And sue the internet. I vow to drain the NRA swamp and I will halve our $600 billion dollar military might'
Not with the China in the S. Seas you won't (Jared Kushner)
The new CONSERVATIVE UNIONIST NEGOTIATING TEAM aka Socialist Liberals
Trump Tweets 'Wot no....acronym? Easy on the new Irish border posts!!'
Likes 5674. Shares? Why we have millions of those invested with Dubai & Russia (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: Theresa May is about to buy shares in the DUP for votes...with a blank cheque. At least we now we know where the £350million saved each month from leaving the EU is going. Austerity ends in N. Ireland soon.
Welcome into the fray of the new Babyboomers
Trump wonders 'Are the DUP letting all and sundry know you will have a challenge trying to sort out an ageing population? Versus a low birthrate? Wonder why the Govt policy is high immigration? Like I said I'm no abortionist, mathematician, statistician or Irish politician trying to form a pregnant, cohesive and peaceful deal...my roots are firmly Scottish and German'
I'm sure Sinn Fein are waiting for Stormont to start working again. (Jared Kushner)
Paris agreement – Climate change works wonders when America puts itself first. (Lasts until 2020)
Trump 'I never knowingly sign anything under the influence of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti it's far too expensive and will hurt American jobs in the fuel cell, carbon capture, electric car and the solar energy markets'
This is all true. Leave it up to the next administration...we can't be bothered with it (Jared Kushner)
Itzy bitzy lets get dizzy
'I'm like the Tasmanian devil...fracking and running amok! And I don't take kindly to Scientific expeditions to Antarctica to measure the ozone. I read in some fake science journal it mended itself. What a waste of f****** time that was' said, Trump
After watching the March for Science (Jared Kushner)
This is all true. Leave it up to the next administration...we can't be bothered with it (Jared Kushner)
Itzy bitzy lets get dizzy
'I'm like the Tasmanian devil...fracking and running amok! And I don't take kindly to Scientific expeditions to Antarctica to measure the ozone. I read in some fake science journal it mended itself. What a waste of f****** time that was' said, Trump
After watching the March for Science (Jared Kushner)
Unless the Tasmanian Devil is Sheffield council downing its tree laden roads?
Trump wonders aloud 'Thank the f*** fake sheik, that alleged terror trail of support from Saudi, Qatar, Iran, Turkey & Kuwait has dried up. The mad wind has gone out of their sales. Remember Daesh were playing ball by wearing a uniform. I'm not sure what the Mahdi Army did in Iraq I wasn't really paying attention. Anyway, it was really quite bad in Afghanistan no-one there could afford a uniform, only an AK47..and they loved to f****** walk everywhere & use mopeds. None of this buying oil for cars shit'
It's complicated. My wife has a decent clothesline by the way. (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: Who's buying it? (And I don't mean the clothes)
Toe to toe
Trumps handshake becomes hashish (aka covfefe) (Jared Kushner)
Rain a wind
Trumps Climate change is 'Clueless Assange' (Jared Kushner)
Nothing but sand slipping through your fingers
Trump's Art of the deal is US $270billions deal with Saudi who will give it generously to starving cholera-induced civilians of Yemen. (Jared Kushner)
It's currently THX 1138 - 300 years ago
Trumps says 'Please remember all the Middle East, Gulf & Persian states love one another and never fight proxy pseudo-religious tribal wars among themselves.'
It's currently THX 1138 - 300 years ago
Trumps says 'Please remember all the Middle East, Gulf & Persian states love one another and never fight proxy pseudo-religious tribal wars among themselves.'
This is also known as one of his alternative facts. (Jared Kushner)
Enjoy 2022 footy in Qatar ?!...never say a bad word about anyone or anything to do with Qatar in the UAE otherwise it's 15 years in the clink.
Trump responds 'These states appreciate our support and we love to give them Western military assistance. That's why Germany just moved their planes to Jordan from NATO ally Turkey?! Honestly, do we need allies like Erdogan? Obviously, if we give military assistance to the YPG the Turks wouldn't then go bomb their positions would they?'
Please note the USA will disarm the YPG after the war. Also just to clarify we are not banned from using Saudi runways since Gulf War 1; no educated person understands this even when the fake media repeat it till they are blue in the face. That would be a coup. (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: I'll repeat that too. That's why the USA loves Qatar and bombs from there instead.
During Stonehenge, the local populace saw the light. Heaven was building a road close by
Trump says 'Did you hear what Iran just said "Death to America" I am so going to sort out those Shia's'
And he's not a puppet of Saudi Sunni's either. Thankfully he won't stir the pot by non-diplomatic means. (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: He just sends out non-threatening drones full of Tweets to the MSM.
Steering the course -the Dubai effect
Trump 'There's no hostility especially in Libya and everyone gets on lovingly. Egypt is a good example. Cameron helped a little in Libya but that's all in the past. Time is a great healer and we all have got a Century to get over it. Who wants a golf course?'
This is associated with below Par. Anything with a Birdy is all Russia's fault & I wasn't in any
meetings with anyone from Russia...ever. (Jared Kushner)
Never deny a woman's legal rights within UK law - outside the EU who knows
What are the odds? I'm going down to Betfred now...(Jared Kushner)
All London bridges were fitted with curb protectors after 15th July Nice 2016...19th December Berlin Christmas Market attack, April 7th Stockholm or March 22nd London?
Trump queries 'Was MI6 support for Islamic rebels linked to Al Queda against Gadaffi a good thing? Otherwise, the British police would know Libyan security kept a close eye on the Manchester bomber for a month. And the British Govt would knowingly let a plotter of 7/7 who allegedly allowed Pakistan nationals to train in terrorist camps own and run Ummah gym in Ilford where The London Bridge plotters met a week beforehand before walking their pet labradors home'
No comment (Jared Kushner)
Please note the USA will disarm the YPG after the war. Also just to clarify we are not banned from using Saudi runways since Gulf War 1; no educated person understands this even when the fake media repeat it till they are blue in the face. That would be a coup. (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: I'll repeat that too. That's why the USA loves Qatar and bombs from there instead.
During Stonehenge, the local populace saw the light. Heaven was building a road close by
Trump says 'Did you hear what Iran just said "Death to America" I am so going to sort out those Shia's'
And he's not a puppet of Saudi Sunni's either. Thankfully he won't stir the pot by non-diplomatic means. (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: He just sends out non-threatening drones full of Tweets to the MSM.
Steering the course -the Dubai effect
Trump 'There's no hostility especially in Libya and everyone gets on lovingly. Egypt is a good example. Cameron helped a little in Libya but that's all in the past. Time is a great healer and we all have got a Century to get over it. Who wants a golf course?'
This is associated with below Par. Anything with a Birdy is all Russia's fault & I wasn't in any
meetings with anyone from Russia...ever. (Jared Kushner)
Never deny a woman's legal rights within UK law - outside the EU who knows
What are the odds? I'm going down to Betfred now...(Jared Kushner)
All London bridges were fitted with curb protectors after 15th July Nice 2016...19th December Berlin Christmas Market attack, April 7th Stockholm or March 22nd London?
Trump queries 'Was MI6 support for Islamic rebels linked to Al Queda against Gadaffi a good thing? Otherwise, the British police would know Libyan security kept a close eye on the Manchester bomber for a month. And the British Govt would knowingly let a plotter of 7/7 who allegedly allowed Pakistan nationals to train in terrorist camps own and run Ummah gym in Ilford where The London Bridge plotters met a week beforehand before walking their pet labradors home'
No comment (Jared Kushner)
Antipathy of Scientific proof: Dr Magnus Pike says 'I'm no pundit'
Trump 'I believe there are no scientific or religious studies worth bothering with. I don't like to experiment and only sane people would believe in a higher order. Unless it was Santa Claus. Then you'd be mad. At least Santa gets you the latest DVD, fragrance, socks, beer, and Lego. Come to think of it I'm going to follow Santa on Twitter'
Great...only another six-month wait. (Jared Kushner)
Great Dane
Great...only another six-month wait. (Jared Kushner)
Great Dane
Trumps huge hug is known as a Hugge (Jared Kushner)
Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?
Trumps F-bomb is North Korea (Jared Kushner)
The firm grip
Trump 'doing a Macron' is now a euphemism. (Jared Kushner)
Spirituality does not thrive on loads of rules its present in the vibrations of atoms in a tree
Trump 'I love reading about teachers running off with 15-year-olds and this is nothing new ...especially in French presidential circles. Please read Royal Religious Age of consent orders by Queen Victoria which began in 1861, amended in 1875, 1885...and so on. I love your history'
Ice Ice baby
Trumps Arctic drilling is called unfreezing your assets (Jared Kushner)
Don't be alarmed, 10,000 new copper pots
Trump 'I just tweeted rozzen frili huy which means you needn't be alarmed by armed police in the UK. Right now the London Mayor can arm 1,000 more police and allow all London police to patrol with tasers – and he has powers to not let the army guarding bridges stand down whilst there's a war and an election on'
Migrating birds part 2 : on the radar
Trump 'I have come to the conclusion that anyone jetting in or out of war zones of Syria, Iraq or Afghanistan and returning numerous times to the UK or the EU has to wear a leg bracelet which is linked to Google maps via GPS. Twice a week they have to visit a local police station. There is an App available to download to let you know if the new area you move to has known Jihadis'
Curfews are mandatory...in the new summer of love. (Jared Kushner)
Curfews are mandatory...in the new summer of love. (Jared Kushner)
New Self Defense guidelines
Trump asserts 'I think the Brits should arm themselves with chairs, tables, brollies, bike locks, bin lids, mirrors, cutlery, plates, bottles (including prosecco), pints (not the plastic ones) and fire extinguishers. If you are close to Sports Direct retrieve baseball bats and/or golf clubs...'
Trump will gladly donate a full set of clubs. (Jared Kushner)
Trump will gladly donate a full set of clubs. (Jared Kushner)
Buddha of the desert: invading a water planet? What were those aliens thinking?
Trump 'I know there's a water analogy in there - drink beer or non-alcoholic ale, smoke if you want, enjoy music, art, a good meal, includes vegan or gluten free, free speech, adhere to scientific fact or fiction like I prefer to and mixed or same sex companionship...'
And enjoy a romp in a Russian hotel (Jared Kushner)
Sugar-free or go Classic?
Trump does not have zero tolerance on sugar & sodium. (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: He does with the FBI
Ed note: He does with the FBI
Draining the Sewer or Russian roulette?
Trump 'I was never friends with this guy and I never understood a word that man Farage said'
'I ave ni Ryzzuau fiends?' asked Farage.
BBC Question time never ever again allows Farage a free seat? This is odd to an American eye especially when UKIP have no MP's. At least he will get the best photo op with Trump on the Red carpet when he visits the UK? I can't wait... (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: For it to be canceled.
That's entertainment - Trump telling the Brits what to do
Trump responds 'Let the UK not have Brexit. I'd like to see Farage as leader again of UKIP & he'll be on TV for the next 7 years arguing for it as you drag your heels'
Which is not official office footwear by the way (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: Brexit will make EU laws converted into British law. This means EU employment, health and environment laws will be kept. EU citizens can still live, work and study here and we can still trade our £250billions with Europe. And the British Supreme Court will still look after human rights legislation within the context of the European Courts of Justice. Therefore it will be very much similar to when we were actually part of the EU.
Recently EU Free Trade deals with Canada, Japan & Australia. So why are we leaving again...?
'I ave ni Ryzzuau fiends?' asked Farage.
BBC Question time never ever again allows Farage a free seat? This is odd to an American eye especially when UKIP have no MP's. At least he will get the best photo op with Trump on the Red carpet when he visits the UK? I can't wait... (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: For it to be canceled.
That's entertainment - Trump telling the Brits what to do
Trump responds 'Let the UK not have Brexit. I'd like to see Farage as leader again of UKIP & he'll be on TV for the next 7 years arguing for it as you drag your heels'
Which is not official office footwear by the way (Jared Kushner)
Ed note: Brexit will make EU laws converted into British law. This means EU employment, health and environment laws will be kept. EU citizens can still live, work and study here and we can still trade our £250billions with Europe. And the British Supreme Court will still look after human rights legislation within the context of the European Courts of Justice. Therefore it will be very much similar to when we were actually part of the EU.
Recently EU Free Trade deals with Canada, Japan & Australia. So why are we leaving again...?
Free the UK from having to vote every F****** year!
Trump asks 'Did you enjoy voting? Freedoms are worth defending'
Remember It got him elected. And he talks the talk and walks the walk. (Jared Kushner)
Remember It got him elected. And he talks the talk and walks the walk. (Jared Kushner)
F for...Fake or why Bill Wyman became the groom of Mandy and got away with it
Trump say 'I'm going to enjoy a good film by Polanski, Woody Allen and not Bill Cosby. Cosby films weren't that great but he made me laugh'
The white guys make more money from theirs and they get approval from Cannes so we enjoy their films a lot more (Jared Kushner)
The white guys make more money from theirs and they get approval from Cannes so we enjoy their films a lot more (Jared Kushner)
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