Anchorman 3 : The Ron Burgundy saga (with 7.63 new R-rated jokes!)

Braking News : 7.63 mishaps and dingbat spoons

                      Lower case 1 : Bound for Scrutiny Bay

             Ron: The Mayflower's in June or July? What a glorious summer to set sail..
                      I remember her fondly. What's May doing in June? Women...

                      Sweet pollination of J Edgar Hoover. Look two women cavorting!

      (I would add the picture but you should be over 21 to look at XXX rated. Unless
      you do figure drawing or work at GCHQ's 'Optic Nerve') 

       

      Veronica: I think you'll find the Mayflower set sail in September with pilgrims!

              Ron: Did they make a lot of progress?

      Veronica: Yes..I believe as fart as the bible belt

              Ron: Hockey puck! Ha..you just said fart!

      Veronica: SOB         

              Ron: And we like to keep a tight reign on them don't we Champ?

         Champ: Whammy pants!

                         Upper Case 2 : Edwin Musick

               Ron:  Within ten years PAN AM will be over?!...With no basis of scientific fact?

                        Haven't we just got out of the economic downturn of the 70's! 

                        I'm reading a robust statement here. Does this need citation?
                        Have we any proof?!

                                               

                        Who are they kidding – selling off the Pan Am building to Metropolitan Life

                        is only for insurance right? I may not be a scientist but on what fact is this
                        basis coming from?

                        Can I check my Life Policy please...who does accounts around here?

                        On the Case 3 : The Big Bad Wolf of... 

               Ron: 'We are floating on a sea of iniquity..' I'll try that again, just need to take a

                        little more 'bottled water' and it's only 10 cents by the way...

                        'We are floating in a sea of antiquity...' What is in this water? 

                        I think we are floating on a sea of inequity?'
                        What has the world come to...?

                                                  

                        Has anyone looked out the window. I can sea Noah's flood has arrived...

                        on Wall Street.

                        Down on 4 : Mayor Giuliani

                 

              Ron:  Go to Hell New York!

   Ed Harken:  You just told New York to go to Hell!

              Ron:  O' okay..what? Listen, I just read off the Teleprompter...Brick!!

   Ed Harken:  Run the autocue again without insults..

              Ron: Without Don Rickles?! No way. Don't kick yourself. New York is Hell...
                      have you seen the gun crime here? No wonder Charles Bronson is a
                      vigilante. Move to LA.. it's a sure Winner and it's safer..

      Veronica:  Sorry about that. You know glib is Ron's second name. Next on the agenda

                       is 'Hello New York' And I am such a professional

               Ron: 'O' darn it...that's landed me on the Alfred Ely Beach naughty station step..

             Brick: I love...New York!

               Ron: You Stay Classy New York!

                        Upper deck 5 : Smokin' Aces..  

               Ron: I'm going to Mount Vesuvius and smoke her like a cigar!

                        ..Up Pompeii! (It doesn't mean anything..I just liked the sound of it :)

                         Legends of 6 : Raise the flag..half mast

                Ron: Forty years of Shock Tactics 63 to 2003! Year of the Cat! Ngo Dinh Diem!
                        False Flags! WMD of a Red Herring! Matrix Churchill! Oliver North!
                        Security lapse in the laps of the FBI! Pan Am oversight..New Year Ethiopia!?

         Veronica: Enkutatash?

                Ron: Gazuntite! Ffs whatever order you like...my tash is exactly Julian Time.
                        Lets play Tonkin slash Tonka games....again and again and again!

                        Is this on repeat? Can we stop, play and rewind now?! Do we need to verify

                        this...can someone please teach history properly! 

                        When myth becomes a legend after the truth and I'm a LEGEND OF TRUTH

                        nay sayers!

                         Full deck 7 : The Swarm

                  

                Ron: BEES UNDER ARREST! Public Enemy No.1! Official!

                        CIA is in no mood for Bees! The CIA are now arresting bees in Afghanistan
                        out of desperation called Operation High Hive... that's original?

                        With a Russian slash French veto to stop the pollination of poppies for
                        Opium! When asked by our Field reporter what the story for this was
                        Agent Orange said Helmand honey will be used and they are trying to
                        get bees drunk as a skunk!

                         Is this adding to our bee problem?...Brick do you know anything about
                         this?!! Can I go to Candyland with you?

                         They still allow Russians to eat the poisonous honey...which decade are
                         we in?

                         In fact which millennium...can't we just send honey to invading armies of
                         Rome?

                         Can someone please find Fantana he's been looking ill recently...why is his
                         cabinet full of Gunpowder and Orange Lines?

     

                         The Honeymoon is over people...

                           And the Percentage of 7.63 is...weather permitting 763 is enough?!

                  Ron: Tell me Brick. Do I ride out this storm for a retractment? Or do the

                          odds favour a bounce?

                Brick: Well if you take a look at Canada you will see the oils well down..

                  Ron: I got burned on that last request. Anything else behind this
                          cotton bull?

                Brick: Crude is about to hit the trend..

                  Ron: Trending now?

           Fantana: It's the 2014 Ryan Air Hostess Charity Calender!  

                Brick: I love...Teenage Cancer Tryst 

                (Enter ALL the lovely women aka hot babes from the youtube clip...)

                  Ron: Tell you what girls I'm well mannered...and I might say well manicured

                          kind of guy. I'll get up for you. My s.t.a.t.u.s? It's not a big deal...
            Champ: Girls..how do you all like it? Behind the desk? Or lamp on the desk?

                Brick: Fantana's under the table! Loud noises!

                  Ron: And I imagine along with the rest of us... 

Swell. 763 new jokes!
Made like a cask of scotch drunk in 2 hours or more
 One that took over a decade to..ferment

Scotch!
Dedicated to Harold Ramis   

                  Ramis: There's a moral notion that negative emotions have consequences. And
                              in big cities like New York and Los Angeles bad vibes can build up...
        
                     Ron: Oh wise Ramisses! He's a deity you know
                             You Stay Classy with positive vibes Cities of the World!