Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Anchorman 3 : X Part 'Ten' slash Xtra X-Rated? slash X-Ray? slash Xerox? slash Xylophone? slash X-ray tetra fish?! XXX






The Future is Burgundy

from 18th february

       Champ: Hey Ron do you know where my Bo Derek picture went?

       Ron: Nope!

       Fantana: I've found it...


 altered states

    Champ: Nice going Team...

    Ron:  I did the Xylophone!

    Fantana: I love playing the Xylophone!

    Brick: LOUD NOISES!

    Fantana: Nice touch with the er X-Ray Tetra Fish there Brick...

    Ron: Do you like how I drew the 'Mexican moustache'?!

    Fantana: Brilliant..looks like mine! It's a handlebar by the way

    Ron: I knew I was an artist

    Fantana: I suppose you're wondering where the copier went?

    Ron: Yep! X really does hit the spot...the inner thigh gentlemen

    Fantana: I did it tastefully. I actually missed the spot...

    Brick: I've been using the X-Ray glasses but they only work in Airports...

    Champ: Whammy!

     Enter the girls after the Valentine doo...

     Chani: Oh Brick how could you!!

     Brick: (pointing to the others) They put me up to it I had nothing to do with it...look
     I'll paste slash attach this for you..

now that you're here

    Chani: Xanadu that's sweet

    Brick: Especially for you in black and white because they never had color back then..
    ..in print. Color was expensive?!

    Chani: It's my favourite film! (notice the spelling..it's with a 'u' ok I was being generous
    above)

    Ron:  Olivia Neutron Bomb!

    Fantana: ONB! Boys ONB!

    Ron: I love ELO

    Champ: Xanadu?! Why no X-Factor?

    Fantana: Only Britney Spears has that and she's just an updated Debbie Gibson...

    Veronica: I love....D&G

    Chani: I love...BT

    Brick: I love...BB

    Champ: Bebe?

    Fantana: Brigitte Bardot! Knockout !

    Veronica: I don't think she'd be going for your Bats Champ...or Polar Bears

    Champ: Stuff Polar Bears I'm going drilling in the arctic...before the Russians get there

    Stewie Griffin: I told Putin to go sort out the Rainbow Warrior before the Olympics to
                            stir up some good publicity!

     Brian Griffin: You're wrong there it's the Arctic Sunrise the French blew up the other
                            one..

    Stewie Griffin: It was a double bluff idiot! A boat is a boat. I'm going for the oil myself
    and I'm recreating 'There will be blood' but in icy cold conditions!? I'm sooo glad we've
    got Alaska from the Russians. Me and Sarah Palin are bosom buddies you know!

    Brian Griffin: You kind of like shooting yourself in the foot don't you

    Ron: You Stay Classy Brigitte Bardot!

    Fantana: I'd Neknominate Bebe back in the 50's...if I could time travel like Brick

    Champ: Please lets not go through another Back to the Future link...

    Brick: What's Neknominate?

    Fantana: Like kiss chase but for bigger kids

    Champ: You mean all I had to do was neknominate...my girlfriend? To look that good in
    ASDA?

    Fantana: It's cheaper there and now everyone's downing Stella...

    Ron: Was that her name?

    Fantana: No. But she looked great. I sent her a Valentine!

    Brick: Loud Noises?

    Veronica: YOU ARE SUCH BIG KIDS!!  You've lowered the tone already...

    (She's seething a bit you know even after Valentines. The 'Tea Party' with Ron wasn't 
    that great)
     
    Ron: Yep! Wait until I put up your 'Toilet of Venus', now that really would be X-rated!

    Veronica: What are you saying? Does my derriere look big in it?

    Ron: Thats XXX rated!

    Champ: Yeah like when's that happening?

    Brick: Ask China!

    Chani: They stop everything...I told them to

    Fantana: I'm on the XXX lobby. And I'm too busy trying to sort all this stuff out on the net
    and I'm sooo tired

    Veronica: By the way Ron YOU can't play the Xylophone...and your hair is a mess!

    Fantana: Ouch! I can play the piano...

    Ron: Stop picking on me woman my hair is by Max Factor and you are rubbish at the
    didgeridoo!

    Veronica: Well it's still raining and this is continuing until Russell Crowe comes to save us
    in Noah...

    Brick: I think it's a B-movie

    Ron: Is this guy getting payments from Paramount for this? We've been keeping things
    hot on the go here! And it's exactly two months since the cinema release. Seriously I just
    poured like my heart out on Valentines and I never even got a response from my
    followers..
    I'm not sure I can hold it together much longer. I'm going to make another tea soon and I
    even sent it to myself...can't you hear me cryin' for cryin out loud?! And if no-one got
    the Tea Party joke in there I will eat Champ's HAT!

    Champ: Now hold on Ron. Here let me put my arm around you. It's going to be okay.
    I think we'll be out on DVD soon

    Ron: (blubbing) I can't wait..and I hate VD Day and I hate Tea I prefer scotch, scotch,
    scotch....
    (He really is a mess, runny nose and red eyes...it was a bad week to give up..decaf Tea)

    Veronica: It's your own fault Ron. I GOT SUNBURN! And YOU sold the pictures to Playboy!

    Fantana: That WI guy he's still got an HMV voucher to use from Xmas..I think he's waiting

    Veronica: Paramount have already had copyright issues with this...

    Champ: Oh?

    Fantana: Yeah - they don't think were funny enough!

    Ron: Listen team lets watch '10' to focus...and away from the women they can't take a
    joke

    Brick: Lets use some of that cinematic imagination like the good ol' days?

    Chani: Brick. You're watching Xanadu with me and not '10' you hear!

    Fantana: I just imagine it...and things happen you know

    Champ: Whammy...!
  
when life was a beach



BeLive TV 1980 cont...Before the World became TV

...when bottled water was just a Californian fad and not a daily accessory
Ron: I always need to hydrate it's good for the vowels!  
As if everyone's going to become suddenly dehydrated at a moments notice when It only used to be put in a flask when you went off camping.., when MacDonalds was just a farmyard tale and not some huge beef ranch proxy conglomerate in Brazil that had ambitions to be in every town and city, we just had Wimpy
Fantana: Bunch of wimps. Can I have a one that goes purrr  

when you still found the joke about the Royal family being German funny
Rich man: Don't bring that up in this Great War to End all Wars?! Centenary. And I never say it's Saxe-Coburg-Gotha because I have a good lawyer
Ron: Triple barrelled name eh..they're innovators then?
Veronica: No. Survivors. 

when Windsor was just a Safari Park and you used GLUE with Airfix (have they banned that UHU?) Action Man was not a doll okay! And  Lego didn't come with instruction instructions, Apple and Orange were 'fruit' & not trademarks! It's okay Macca you got there first with the 
Apple libel, when we could all enjoy the Olympics because no Americans had showed up and we won loads more medals in Moscow and Great Britain was Great Britain and not Team GB
Champ: Hey we ain't never gonna deal with those Russian commies...yet. And to hell with your Olympics the year before was much better.
Ron: Why's that Champ?  
Champ: Cos it was a RIOT! Whammy!
Brick: I love...Farcebook!

And don't get me to explain why in the World Cup we never have a GB Football Team? It's the UK but this is England (technically not a Country it's just a big County..they dropped the 'R') and we don't have any Scots or Welsh or Irish (if they want to) play in the team?! Would we win then...where's Ryan Giggs when we needed him? And truth be told Jubilee is the true National Anthem or is it Land of Hope and Glory? I can't decide...is it the Olympics again? Confused.com
when you could watch that kid on Dagobah have a picnic with Luke on 'Jim'll Fix It' without now having to re-edit your childhood 'TV' memories?!, when you could be captivated by watching the Empire Strikes Back without having to put up with the prequels, (I'm willing for A New Hope on the sequels though..!), when Montana was a US state and not Monsanto
Champ: I always make that mistake and I always use only the best GM food..

when children used to walk to school and wear fur collared coats in the rain, when there was no holes in the o-zone layer or bic pens, when opal fruits were made to make your mouth water, when marathons were chocolate bars and not something held every year in London slash Newcastle, when you could flick a coke can ring pull across the classroom..those things were cool and really sharp! So sharp people collected them..! when no-one? put stupid things in products and now we can't get to our toothpastes that easy and undoing stuff has became such a hazard involving scissors, knives or a cut tooth..
Ron: Yeah we use guns to shoot the tops off now!
Champ: I use a shotgun to get to my presents

when Chemistry and Biology were taught individually and not combined together to make Scientology, when creation was Darwins theory and when schools weren't told what to teach by the Govt?...left wing councillors then?..No. It's European directives telling Britain what to do from Brussels...and when Trinity did not mean Trinity from the Matrix, when Jesus...
Judge Cleese: This is much better much better but overlong Caxton how did you get out of the Dungeon?! Must of been a slip knot. And please do not mention the Life of Brian..I'm fed up going on chat shows trying to explain satire
Barrister Palin: I think you may find lots of articles under Swedenborg Interesting
poorman: i actually liked all three matrix films the trinity was made up
Barrister Palin: Liar! I'm going to throw Old Testament stones at you for that..even though you're a ghost
William Caxton: Can someone tell me what I AM AND NOT ALLOWED TO PRINT?! Am I a free thinker anymore...?
Rich man: Divide and rule we read it and teach it...

JOAN RIVERS: Do as I do I'm a woman. Women RULE and I don't give a S***!

Ed: *aka THIS* for any kids reading this..but then who said the Internet was for kids? How did I get on here? Look what I'm writing?! You might even learn something...anyway you're exams are well easy these days and you can opt out of History?! slash Geography?! at 14!? you get all your answers off the internet anyway...?

when New meant New York and not New Labour which really meant without Kinnock, when the babies you saw in the prams would have the future in their hands and be the first ones to live their lives on the internet we were busy doing our utmost by giving them a never ending story known as The War on Terror, when the worlds population was 4.5 billion people and not 7 billion, when the Black Rhino was not extinct and when Lennon was still alive...






ps and not only but also Peter Sellers...before the year was out






  
I love...smash





 Lennon: Bagism is Art...make Life Art and Get a Life!

 Buy books for children..that way they will hold something not plastic but made from carbon.


19th March (part 11) 18th Feb (part 10) 14th Feb (part 9) 12th Feb (part8) 8th Feb (part7) 6thFeb (part6 episode2), 4th Feb (part6), 28th Jan (part5), 24th Jan (part4), 22nd Jan (part3), 18th Jan (part2), 14th Jan (part1)


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