Anchorman 3 : The future is Burgundy part 6 (episode 1 of 2)

The Future is Burgundy: The sixth sense

box of delights

Champ: Hey Ron. Have you seen this box drop in?

Ron: Nope!

Veronica: What's in it?

Champ: I don't know?

Fantana: You've got to open it...to find out!

Ron: It looks kind of...happy

Champ: What's with all the blacked out erase lines over the address?

Fantana: It's self censorship

Veronica: It's an Illustrator thing

Ron: It's their code...

Veronica: I've seen a glimpse of that in the new U2 video...

Ron: U2 planes have released a video with Illustrations?

Veronica: It's gone viral

Ron: Excuse me?!

Fantana: U2 they're travelling all over the world...

Brick: I can time travel...

Ron: Wow! Is this highly classified information? U2 Spy Planes circling the globe? Sounds to me like those 'Thirteen days' of 63? I never want to miss out on a cuban cigar you know. And they're crazy enough to release videos...can we get that LIVE ON TV?

Veronica: LIVE TV? The brits beat us to it Ron

Fantana: They got the Iranian Embassy Seige LIVE on TV with the SAS. It was in the
half term holidays so plenty saw it

Veronica: We got Mt St. Helens Live instead

LIVE TV

A time when the brits only had three TV channels of choice and those were still aired in black and white. When cable was just electrical wiring. (Ron: You guys were in the stone age ha!) When Asteroids was a computer game and not reality. When the police knew how to fight with their fists and not with Tasers (Ron: Yeah, but we've always had GUNS!) and there was no CCTV in the streets..only in the banks (that's irony for you).  Fake tan was only a joke about british summers. When kids played in three dimensions with a rubiks cube and a knife was just something you ate with at the dinner table. When coal was the back bone of Britain and North Sea Oil was going to last for 200 years. The Government owned National Industries and had more than just Education & the NHS to lose money on and meddle with. Sky was something you just looked up at and didn't have to pay for. When footballers took home an honest wage packet and not a salary the same price as your house every week. When your girlfriend went out looking like the cute one from ABBA and didn't aspire to become the next Paris Hilton slash Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus wrecking ball clone (Fantana : Uh Why not? I'm cool with it) When society gave man skilled work, hope and responsibilities before the cusp of a technological revolution meant macho men had to learn to listen and communicate more?!  (Ron: What? I don't understand this bit... Is this in Spanish?) When Thatcher blindly believed we still had an Empire when all we had was Hong Kong...does Gibraltar count? When the 'special relationship' just meant America had somewhere to put it's nuclear arsenal and not whether we'd like to bomb Persian Gulf States...  

Judge Cleese: Is that all! There's plenty more where that came from....

Rich Man : Why how dare he pontificate over the good lady's name

poorman: she's just a devil woman...c'mon you like cliff richard she's just a devil woman...

can i do the bit on immigration now? 

Thought Politik Police: NO!

Rich man: This isn't Australia you know!

Barrister Palin: Take him away escort that man out of the room - filth

poorman: c'mon it's just a red herring right? i only think what i know in the press

Judge Cleese: How dare you attack the freedom of the Press. 

Barrister Palin: Very good answer that. Is the Red Herring Dead or Alive? 

Judge Cleese: You are going all the way to the gallows for that one

Rich man: i think it's a lie?

poorman: c'mon the herring doesn't exist 

Barrister Palin: You won't be for much longer 

Judge Cleese: I've got out my black cap..ahh needed a bit of dusting didn't it. You have committed the crime of treason without reason. Right hang that man!

.....

Veronica: Does Ron know about Senkaku?!

Champ: Yeah. Do we tell Ron about Taiwan now?

Fantana: I think someone should tell him...

Brick: I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down...

Veronica: Fifty years later and I feel a whole lot safer sunbathing topless out in the open...

Brick: I love...O-Zone!

Fantana: The Twilightzone series I was so zoned out then...

Champ: The Twilightzone? But women are a mystery to me in the twilight zone...

Brick: 63' That's when I gave up on my Cuban habit

Ron: What to become a monk?

Brick: No that wasn't my urban habit that was 'Kung Fu'

Ron: You were a hermit? In an outdoor habit-at? I really am struggling here...

Brick: No gambling and smoking in Havana and only practising Santeria!

Fantana: Man those were wild times...

Ron: What! No gambling and smoking? You musk be MISTAKEN!

Brick: WILD NOISES!

Fantana: I didn't say I never drank or gambled in the Havana Club! I was always practising on Santeria, she loved it....she let me experience her as a professional.

Ron: Oh, I see you little cuban heeled stud you

Fantana: From that moment on I was not very wise...

Brick: And I was none the wiser

Champ:Whammy!!

Ron: I thought you said the coldwar was over? What have you been up to again Brick?

Walter: Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!

Brick: It's getting warmer...buzz buzz (CUE : Swarms of Bees)

Ron: You stay classy world it's paramount! You here? YOU STAY CLASSY EARTH WORLD! You hear? ARE YOU LISTENING I AM REALLY SHOUTING NOW...

Fantana: Is Trident still a paramount defence...? It worked for Brick one on one

Veronica: Trident. I looked it up on the net UK Nuclear submarine defence is called Trident aka Tired and Not yet Tested or TNT for short...it really says that

Brick: Well Paramounts 'Best Defense' film did kind of highlight something was gonna be big around the corner...

Champ: Who'd be dumb enough to re-make that?

Veronica: Didn't it become reality TV...when the World became TV?!

Fantana: I think they're going for Naked Gun

Ron: Naked Gun for...what? What Channel are we on?! Can I tune into that Bo Derek...

Champ: Like I said man DON'T believe everything you read on the net

Veronica: Surely you can't be serious?

Doc

Leslie Nielson: Did someone call....I'm always serious.

Walter: They're going to remake Police Squad?

Leslie Nielson: Listen kid, you look like a bright kid. But are you deaf? I knew they were going to find a Pilot eventually for me. And I hate to tell you this face to face. I was funny first time around and let me tell you...I ALWAYS WILL BE!! Ha ha had you fooled didn't I!

Veronica: Have you made a bad judgement call on Airplane? You said it was cheap

Leslie Nielson: Hey haven't we met already lady and if I didn't have a gun I'd shoot you for that remark...if I wasn't a Doctor. I can't make a judgement call until we land. The phones out of order and it's going to be long distance and that's one hell of a bill. I've looked out the window and drawn the curtains but my drawings lousy and they still 'play misty for me' up here and the foods not getting any better! Are you going deaf too? What kind of service are you expecting on a cheap flight?!

Ron: Oh I know this reference, this is like a film quiz. Clint did the murdering b****h of a w***e! 

Oops spoiler! (that was cheap sorry..it's the FGS Family Guy Syndrome)

Veronica: I think I need some temperance of Burgundy

Leslie Nielson: Yes. You can go with that Major Barbara reference but no more shooting from the hip.

Ron: God, he's funny!! What a funny guy folks...did we get that on tape (still Family Guy)

Mel Brooks: And let me tell you something your half way home yourself when God thinks
you're funny too son

Ron: Halfway between where? (Still Family Guy Jeez)

Mel Brooks: Heaven and Hell! (Mel Brooks too what a combination. Cool.)

Champ: Whammy!

PART TWO OF EDITION SIX COMING SOON with more special guests...I know I can't wait either

teaser two

                                                          
...lets thaw these jokes

January 28th (part5) 24th (part4) 22nd (part3) 18th (part2) 14th (part1)